today, i have been very aware of my eating habits - basically making sure that i have something in my stomach at all times. i have been trying to balance the food and liquid thing. not too much or to close together. i have eaten a lot, like a baby, every 2 hours or so. it has seemed to help. we were out and about today - doing some shopping and then meeting some friends for lunch - i think getting out of the house today really helped too. getting my mind off of not feeling so great was a good thing. tonight we are going to the bobcats game - i really hope that i will continue to feel ok. i wouldn't want to be sick there - i want to enjoy our time away!!
last night, after talking to my friend patti - i had jamil stop and get me some coke. i haven't had any caffeine (seriously none! cold turkey) since i found out i was pregnant. but a coke sounded so good yesterday. patti encouraged me to do what i need to do to survive this stage and if one coke was going to make me feel better - then go for it. i agreed and that coke made a world of difference last night. i may have to switch to the caffeine free kind b/c i don't want to go against my one a day rule.
my husband was a true hero last night bringing home not only the coke, but dinner and a late night snack too (sushi - not the raw fish kind!!) for me! he is a great man!!! he really pampered me!! i have been pretty whiny and really tired. not a lot of fun lately. he has put up with my mood swings and crazy cravings - i know we have blown our food budget out of the water this month. he has been such a good sport and very supportive. he has been understanding and encouraging. i am so glad God blessed me with him!!!
3.05.2008
3.04.2008
a little relief?
i haven't been much of a blogger lately - actually, i haven't been doing much of anything lately. my main goal each day is to survive this sickness. basically, i am sick morning, noon and night and it hasn't let up at all. it is constant - i pretty much only feel "good" for about 20 minutes after i eat and feel really full. and then once the food settles - i am sick again. i don't actually throw up - i am just super queasy, and gag really easy. also, i am struggling with finding food that i can eat and want to eat. it is very frustrating to say the least. i just can't make myself eat anything - whatever pops into my mind (& tastebuds) is what i need to eat. i really really try to eat something from home - but that doesn't always work. being sick like this takes a lot out of me, i have very little energy or ambition to do anything. i just feel yucky all of the time. i have to remind myself that this is a blessing - to be pregnant that is and that i just have to deal with it. so that is what i am doing each day, dealing with it and trying to get a little relief.
2.28.2008
it's here...
today i have had a lot less energy and i have been extremely emotional. and then around mid-morning i just had this yucky feeling, and it was all to familiar once i realized what it was. ahhh, yes, "morning sickness", although for me and all of my pregnancies i don't experience it in the morning - i get it anytime of the day and sometimes all day long. if you haven't had this feeling before - it is yucky. you just feel motion sick, queasy, unsettled and gag really easy.
as it got close to lunch time, i thought about what i would eat. i decided on a chili dog, as soon as the smell of the chili and the hot dog came flowing out of the microwave and i got one scent of it - i was done with the chili dog -- could not eat it at all. the thought of it gagged me, the smell of it gagged me - yuckkooo!
that is one of the hardest parts for me having "morning sickness" is being hungry but not being able to eat what is in the house. i settled for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. although, i am having a SERIOUS craving for some japenese food!!
as it got close to lunch time, i thought about what i would eat. i decided on a chili dog, as soon as the smell of the chili and the hot dog came flowing out of the microwave and i got one scent of it - i was done with the chili dog -- could not eat it at all. the thought of it gagged me, the smell of it gagged me - yuckkooo!
that is one of the hardest parts for me having "morning sickness" is being hungry but not being able to eat what is in the house. i settled for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. although, i am having a SERIOUS craving for some japenese food!!
bye bye blogroll....
every once in awhile i get in the mood to add and change my blog - don't we all. well as i was looking it over, i realized that my blogroll was insanely long and that there were several friends that i had not added. it is so exciting that so many people are getting into blogging!!! if i would continue to add all of my friends and others i know with blogs my blogroll would literally take over the page. so instead of picking and choosing who is on the blogroll - i decided to just not deal with a blogroll. my blog isn't suppose to cause me stress so bye bye blogroll!
i just wanted to let you all know that to keep it simple i am not having a blogroll but i am still
reading your blogs!!!!
i just wanted to let you all know that to keep it simple i am not having a blogroll but i am still
reading your blogs!!!!
2.25.2008
cleaning vs. napping...
as i was getting ready to go to my midwife appointment this morning, i began to take notice of the disastrous state that my house is in. it is a serious mess! it is unorganized, cluttered and not very clean. taking notice to all of this, i was really in the mood to "spring clean" this morning. i had made a mental list of all the things i was going to attempt to clean and organize this afternoon, including my van.
after getting home from a rather long appointment - i was not in the mood, nor did i have an ounce of energy left. so instead of hitting my projects - i hit the pillow and took a nap. and i didn't feel guilty at all. this cold and this pregnancy has really taken a lot out of me and i just couldn't bring myself to do anything but sleep. i don't know when my house will get cleaned.
on another note, my midwife's appointment went really well. i had jesiah with me and we had to wait a little longer than usual, so at times it was hard to entertain a three year old in a doctor's office. i vowed next time to go by myself! but as far as the pregnancy part - so far so good. i am about 6 weeks and 3 days! i will go back in 4 weeks and we should be able to hear the baby's heartbeat by then. everyone was excited to see us and know we were there for baby #4 and they couldn't believe jesiah was the "baby" and he was getting so big!
so this afternoon, i am just trying to get some energy to get off of the couch and attempt to do something productive. we have momtourage tonight - which i am looking forward to. i could use a night out with friends! i just hope i have the energy to get myself there!!!
after getting home from a rather long appointment - i was not in the mood, nor did i have an ounce of energy left. so instead of hitting my projects - i hit the pillow and took a nap. and i didn't feel guilty at all. this cold and this pregnancy has really taken a lot out of me and i just couldn't bring myself to do anything but sleep. i don't know when my house will get cleaned.
on another note, my midwife's appointment went really well. i had jesiah with me and we had to wait a little longer than usual, so at times it was hard to entertain a three year old in a doctor's office. i vowed next time to go by myself! but as far as the pregnancy part - so far so good. i am about 6 weeks and 3 days! i will go back in 4 weeks and we should be able to hear the baby's heartbeat by then. everyone was excited to see us and know we were there for baby #4 and they couldn't believe jesiah was the "baby" and he was getting so big!
so this afternoon, i am just trying to get some energy to get off of the couch and attempt to do something productive. we have momtourage tonight - which i am looking forward to. i could use a night out with friends! i just hope i have the energy to get myself there!!!
2.21.2008
numerous blessings...
a baby is always a blessing! always. i have begun to see already what this new baby is going to add to our family. last saturday, i called my sister, who lives in pittsburgh, to tell her our news. she was so excited, she was near tears. we hadn't told our parents so i told her to keep a secret for awhile.
on monday night, we went to my parents' house to tell them the big news. after we told them, my sister called, not knowing we were there. she told my mom she was ready to move to north carolina with us!!! yahooooo! this is an answered prayer of ours.
about a year and a half ago my sister who just turned 30, went through some really hard changes in her life. these changes brought her from montana to pittsburgh. when this happened, we began praying for her to mover here, but she chose pittsburgh. she has lived there since then. and now she is ready to come "home".
when she was on the phone with my mom, she told her that part of her decision was made because i was pregnant and she wanted to be near us during this time. she missed us, the kids and wanted to be a part of this baby's new life.
i know God is using this baby in a mighty way - and she (he) is not even 6 weeks old (in utero)!!! wow!! won't she love to hear this story when she gets older!!
here is a picture of my sister, (she's in the middle), jordyn and me!
soon you will be seeing her around town and prayerfully at elevation too!!!!!!
on monday night, we went to my parents' house to tell them the big news. after we told them, my sister called, not knowing we were there. she told my mom she was ready to move to north carolina with us!!! yahooooo! this is an answered prayer of ours.
about a year and a half ago my sister who just turned 30, went through some really hard changes in her life. these changes brought her from montana to pittsburgh. when this happened, we began praying for her to mover here, but she chose pittsburgh. she has lived there since then. and now she is ready to come "home".
when she was on the phone with my mom, she told her that part of her decision was made because i was pregnant and she wanted to be near us during this time. she missed us, the kids and wanted to be a part of this baby's new life.
i know God is using this baby in a mighty way - and she (he) is not even 6 weeks old (in utero)!!! wow!! won't she love to hear this story when she gets older!!
here is a picture of my sister, (she's in the middle), jordyn and me!
soon you will be seeing her around town and prayerfully at elevation too!!!!!!
an answer...
so with this new baby on the way, i am hearing and seeing God's direction for my life. i had been feeling very unsettled for quite some time and not sure what i was suppose to be doing with my life. with my kids getting older, i thought through the possibility of going back to work this fall. i felt like that may be what God was requiring of me. i thought if i worked full time, it would really help us chip away at the amount of debt we have obtained. our "sun stand still" prayer is to be debt-free. jamil and i have stuck hard to this prayer and know God is going to provide, just not sure how.
when i found out baby #4 is on her (his) way. i knew God was not asking me to go back to work full time. i know that He plans for me to stay home and raise our children. i feel like God has given back to me "my purpose," i feel like i know that i can become settled at being a stay at home mom. i don't have to worry about what am i going to do or what does He want me to do. He has given me His answer!
with knowing my purpose and what He is calling me to do and where He is calling me to be in this stage of life, i need to make a few changes. i have really been living in the future waiting for this change of my life to happen and figure out what my purpose was to be - i kept looking ahead and not living in the moment. this is my first change - i am going to start enjoying and really embracing each day and not worrying about what the future holds. God has given me my answer. He wants me right here where i have always been. now it is time for my heart to be there too.
when i found out baby #4 is on her (his) way. i knew God was not asking me to go back to work full time. i know that He plans for me to stay home and raise our children. i feel like God has given back to me "my purpose," i feel like i know that i can become settled at being a stay at home mom. i don't have to worry about what am i going to do or what does He want me to do. He has given me His answer!
with knowing my purpose and what He is calling me to do and where He is calling me to be in this stage of life, i need to make a few changes. i have really been living in the future waiting for this change of my life to happen and figure out what my purpose was to be - i kept looking ahead and not living in the moment. this is my first change - i am going to start enjoying and really embracing each day and not worrying about what the future holds. God has given me my answer. He wants me right here where i have always been. now it is time for my heart to be there too.
2.20.2008
when mom is sick...
yesterday, i started feeling sick again ~ flu like symptoms ~ not pregnancy ones (yet). about mid-morning yesterday, i felt like i was hit by a truck. i was coughing, weak, tired, had chills, aches and a fever. so i planted myself on the couch, gave the little kiddos a very simple lunch, which i barely had to prepare - i opened some yogurt and a granola bar for them. i put a movie on for them and they were so good. they watched movies and ate popcorn. i was a mess. i had a list of stuff i had planned to do yesterday and ALL of it i had to put on hold. and i did nothing but rest.
jamil came to my rescue, he picked josh up from school for me and then he took care of the kids and the house for the majority of the evening. he cooked dinner for them and cleaned up the kitchen. he had to leave for josh's basketball practice, since he is the coach - i thought i could make it through without him for an hour and a half. as he was leaving, it was probably the worse i had felt all day. after he left, i called my mom in tears. i was feeling so bad and something about calling your mom just makes it better. she offered to help me out, thankfully she lives close enough to do so now. but i just needed to cry about how bad i felt.
it is soooo hard to be sick when you are a mom and a wife. there are so many things that we do during a day and when we are down and out, it seems like the house is going to fall apart. i kept thinking about all the things i should be doing while i was resting. i worried if jamil would remember to pack josh's lunch and if he did would it be healthy? then i worried about the homework he needed to finish, and the pile of laundry waiting to be folded, and the dishwasher that needed to be emptied and reloaded. my mind worried the entire time i rested. my house seemed to be in chaos and i couldn't do anything to fix it. i knew if i pushed it, it would not be good for me or for the little teeny baby in my belly. so i tried to forget about all that had to be done and tried to rest and relax and sleep on and off.
getting sick is like a temptation for a control freak like me. i do not like to give up control of the things i do. i like help, but i don't like to feel helpless. and for a type a personality, resting is not ever on my agenda. so getting sick and having to rest is not something i know how to do very well.
last night, jamil decided to take the day off to help me out today (isn't he the best!!!) i was actually feeling somewhat better this morning and told him he could go onto work, but he said he would stay in case i started feeling worse. and f he stayed home today, i could completely rest and be better on thursday - and he could be back at work tomorrow. then, we decided to skip on our small group tonight and will probably cancel our high school group tomorrow night to ensure that i am making a 100% recovery. i will probably even need to say no to taking care of the little boy i keep tomorrow.
jamil reminded me last night, that my body isn't used to being pregnant (it has been 3 years!) and that i am going to have to start to rest and take it easy more often. and that i will easily run myself down if i don't. he is so right, why does he have to be so right!!!! it is so hard for me to rest, i don't know how to rest and relax.
so i will be resting and saying no to a lot more things, to help keep us healthy!! i am feeling much better this evening than i was yesterday at this time. although, i started to feel a little queasy this afternoon, probably from the pregnancy - i remember feeling like this in the afternoons a lot with jordyn.
i am hoping the rest that my wonderful husband has allowed me to do has really helped me to recover. and i am trying not to let the messy house, laundry, and the not been done list stress me out! i am also saying a prayer that no one else in our family gets sick!
jamil came to my rescue, he picked josh up from school for me and then he took care of the kids and the house for the majority of the evening. he cooked dinner for them and cleaned up the kitchen. he had to leave for josh's basketball practice, since he is the coach - i thought i could make it through without him for an hour and a half. as he was leaving, it was probably the worse i had felt all day. after he left, i called my mom in tears. i was feeling so bad and something about calling your mom just makes it better. she offered to help me out, thankfully she lives close enough to do so now. but i just needed to cry about how bad i felt.
it is soooo hard to be sick when you are a mom and a wife. there are so many things that we do during a day and when we are down and out, it seems like the house is going to fall apart. i kept thinking about all the things i should be doing while i was resting. i worried if jamil would remember to pack josh's lunch and if he did would it be healthy? then i worried about the homework he needed to finish, and the pile of laundry waiting to be folded, and the dishwasher that needed to be emptied and reloaded. my mind worried the entire time i rested. my house seemed to be in chaos and i couldn't do anything to fix it. i knew if i pushed it, it would not be good for me or for the little teeny baby in my belly. so i tried to forget about all that had to be done and tried to rest and relax and sleep on and off.
getting sick is like a temptation for a control freak like me. i do not like to give up control of the things i do. i like help, but i don't like to feel helpless. and for a type a personality, resting is not ever on my agenda. so getting sick and having to rest is not something i know how to do very well.
last night, jamil decided to take the day off to help me out today (isn't he the best!!!) i was actually feeling somewhat better this morning and told him he could go onto work, but he said he would stay in case i started feeling worse. and f he stayed home today, i could completely rest and be better on thursday - and he could be back at work tomorrow. then, we decided to skip on our small group tonight and will probably cancel our high school group tomorrow night to ensure that i am making a 100% recovery. i will probably even need to say no to taking care of the little boy i keep tomorrow.
jamil reminded me last night, that my body isn't used to being pregnant (it has been 3 years!) and that i am going to have to start to rest and take it easy more often. and that i will easily run myself down if i don't. he is so right, why does he have to be so right!!!! it is so hard for me to rest, i don't know how to rest and relax.
so i will be resting and saying no to a lot more things, to help keep us healthy!! i am feeling much better this evening than i was yesterday at this time. although, i started to feel a little queasy this afternoon, probably from the pregnancy - i remember feeling like this in the afternoons a lot with jordyn.
i am hoping the rest that my wonderful husband has allowed me to do has really helped me to recover. and i am trying not to let the messy house, laundry, and the not been done list stress me out! i am also saying a prayer that no one else in our family gets sick!
2.18.2008
our big valentine's surprise...
jesiah is proud to announce he is going to be a big brother!!
yup, that is right.... the massey family is adding another "j" to it's crew!!!
what a wonderful valentine's day surprise for our family! i found out last week that we are pregnant! baby #4 will be making her (his) arrival around the 19th of October 2008!!
we are all excited. we told the kid's on valentine's day. they each got a stuffed puppy and there was a fourth one and we made them guess who it was for. eventually with jamil's help, joshua said "mom's pregnant!!". it was really cute.
i told jamil on the day before. i gave him his valentine's present a day early! i gave him a bible and it had four scriptures marked with little red cut out hearts. all the scriptures had to do with "babies". he didn't realize that i was saying i was pregnant. he thought i was trying to encourage him and hint around that i was ready for another baby. then i gave him a book called "she's having a baby and i'm having a breakdown". (it was a book i gave to him when i was pregnant with our first). then i said "congratulations, baby #4 is on her (his) way". he finally got it! i definitely surprised him (again!!).
i am really excited to be pregnant again. i love love being pregnant. i have always been blessed with healthy and easy pregnancies. i am praying this one will be the same. i have already been feeling a little queasy in the morning and i have been exhausted. but i am trying to enjoy each and every day because this little baby will most likely be our last.
now i will be able to post regularly again, i just couldn't bring myself to post a lot last week, because i had this big secret!! i wanted to hold off on this post until we told our close friends and our family!!
yup, that is right.... the massey family is adding another "j" to it's crew!!!
what a wonderful valentine's day surprise for our family! i found out last week that we are pregnant! baby #4 will be making her (his) arrival around the 19th of October 2008!!
we are all excited. we told the kid's on valentine's day. they each got a stuffed puppy and there was a fourth one and we made them guess who it was for. eventually with jamil's help, joshua said "mom's pregnant!!". it was really cute.
i told jamil on the day before. i gave him his valentine's present a day early! i gave him a bible and it had four scriptures marked with little red cut out hearts. all the scriptures had to do with "babies". he didn't realize that i was saying i was pregnant. he thought i was trying to encourage him and hint around that i was ready for another baby. then i gave him a book called "she's having a baby and i'm having a breakdown". (it was a book i gave to him when i was pregnant with our first). then i said "congratulations, baby #4 is on her (his) way". he finally got it! i definitely surprised him (again!!).
i am really excited to be pregnant again. i love love being pregnant. i have always been blessed with healthy and easy pregnancies. i am praying this one will be the same. i have already been feeling a little queasy in the morning and i have been exhausted. but i am trying to enjoy each and every day because this little baby will most likely be our last.
now i will be able to post regularly again, i just couldn't bring myself to post a lot last week, because i had this big secret!! i wanted to hold off on this post until we told our close friends and our family!!
2.15.2008
tgif...
wow, it is really really hard to believe that it is friday. this week was a busy one. it was like whirlwind. God has begun to give us answers and direction to many of the things jamil and i have been praying about. one that i can not wait to share - but it deserves it's very own post! i believe that the unsettled, uncomfortable place i have been in for some time now, is going to change soon. i think God is starting to reveal His plan. it feels good to have some answers and some direction.
2.12.2008
the win....
as a parent you eagerly await proud moments in your children's life. as parents of three young children, we have had a lot of "firsts" and a lot of milestones achieved and accomplished - which are very proud moments. but nothing in the past has compared to the proud moment we experienced on sunday. i think the difference is that this proud moment was made because of a choice that joshua made on his own. jamil and i didn't choose this for him, he did this on his own. this is a definite win in our eyes as parents. we can see all of the time we have spent teaching him about God has paid off. we can see how us being apart of a church family, where he gets loved on and discipled each and every week has paid off. elevation and e-kidz were a big part of this win for us.
on sunday, we arrived at providence high school for the baptism. there were a lot of people in the atrium. we had to wait in a line amongst a large crowd and i could begin to see joshua getting nervous. i was so worried he may change his mind and not go through with it. joshua was receiving a lot of attention from a lot of people we know and love at elevation. everyone was so excited for him. i know we were not the only nervous and excited people there. josh doesn't love to be the center of attention if he is nervous or uncomfortable - any other time bring it on - but right then he wasn't feeling it. so i could see him getting worried. after we got him registered and it began, jamil stood in line with him. jamil encouraged him and made him laugh. jamil is so good at knowing where a person is and offering whatever they need to make them feel better. God has given him that gift.
there were 5 groups of people being baptized. each group of people (about 50 in each) were getting baptized by a different pastor on staff at elevation. our lead pastor, pastor steven, was taking the afternoon off and delegating this task to his staff. joshu was in the third group. he was the second person in line. phillip mccart was baptizing his group - i was very glad - joshua knows mr. phillip and i knew it would make him comfortable knowing who was about to dunk him under the cold water!!
group three is lined up ready to go. as the first person is getting baptized, our friend, bradelyn, says to me, "look pastor is taking care of josh isn't that so sweet". i looked and saw joshua still a little scared with pastor steven by his side and his arm around him, he was talking to him and encouraging him. and then i saw pastor begin to take off his jacket and shoes and before i know it he is getting into the pool with josh!! he told everyone he was going to jump in and baptize joshua himself. wow! how amazing!! pastor was not prepared to get into the pool - but he did it anyway.
jamil and i just broke down in tears of joy and appreciation. it meant the world to us to have pastor take our son under his care and baptize himself. after lifting josh up on his shoulder, pastor spoke about why he decided to jump in. f irst, he told everyone that joshua was jamil's son and jamil serves as one of his armor bearers. then, he told the crowd all about the night joshua decided to attend "go deep" and how joshua used a picture of him to help make his decision. next, he baptized him!!!
my words do not even do that moment justice. jamil and i were so emotional, we were crying tears of joy and tears of appreciation for what pastor steven had just done. i barely can put into words each moment or how we felt. i can't wait to relive the moment through video and photos!!
this was a priceless moment in our life. being surrounded by our church family and friends and knowing how much our family is loved. and by that amazing act of compassion shown by pastor steven, we have not one doubt in our mind that elevation is our church home. a place we are so proud to call our church home. elevation is where God has called us to be. elevation has given so much to us as a family. it has offered us a place of hope and restoration and given us achurch family again. elevation has recognized and valued the gifts that God has given us and has made sure that we are serving in our sweet spots. elevation has partnered with us to help us to raise children who know and love God. we are forever grateful to our church family, the church staff and to pastor steven.
we are so very proud of the decision josh made! we are so excited to see what God has planned for him!! we have always known that God is going to use joshua in a might way!! this moment and this decision josh made is a definite win! a win for us as parents and a win for Jesus Christ -- another one sold out Him!
so sunday was a big day!! there were 165 people baptized at elevation. one of joshua's friend's riley, got baptized too. riley is larry and kelly hubatka's daughter. they are good friend's of ours!! joshua really likes riley. first he waited to change his clothes until after her baptism. then, he broke through the crowd to tell her congrats! here is a cute picture of them together!!
2.11.2008
the big day....
i promise you the details (and photos!) of our big day (joshua's baptism) are coming!!!
it was one of our proudest and most exciting days for us as parents - yesterday was definitely a "win" !!
i can't wait to tell you about it!!! and i am sorry to keep you waiting.... keep checking back!!
until then, you can check out our friend and family life pastor's blog (oh and phillip - thanks for all the hits coming to me from your blog!!!)
it was one of our proudest and most exciting days for us as parents - yesterday was definitely a "win" !!
i can't wait to tell you about it!!! and i am sorry to keep you waiting.... keep checking back!!
until then, you can check out our friend and family life pastor's blog (oh and phillip - thanks for all the hits coming to me from your blog!!!)
2.09.2008
big day ahead...
tomorrow is going to be such a big day!! i am so excited about it. on the other hand, i know that it will leave our family exhausted! and with all of us just getting over colds/flu i am praying none of us will wake up sick on monday morning.
tomorrow we will be at elevation pretty much all day!! and all i can say is YEAH!!! my kid's are soooo excited about the day we have planned. they have asked me if they will get to go to clubhouse (which is where the children of volunteers go during one service, so that they are only in their area of ekidz for one service). they have the most fabulous teacher in clubhouse. they just love her and can't wait to see her tomorrow!!!
so this is the event schedule for the day:
9am: arrive @ elevation/butler campus to ensure our ekidz booth is all set up and ready to invite new volunteers to join our ranks!
9:45: will attend most of the first service while kids are in clubhouse!
** will leave service early to recruit our new volunteers!!!
11:30: will take a deep breath and get ready for the next wave of new volunteers who will be coming out of the 11:15 service!!
12:45ish: will leave butler campus and head over to providence campus - will get lunch on the fly and pick up johanna and hopefully ronna too!!
1:45: need to be at providence to get ready for josh's baptism!!! WOOWOO!!!!
2:30: joshua, ken and 142 other new believers will get baptized!!! YEAHHHHH!!!!
3:30: go to the carr's house for food, fellowship and a little rest and relaxation! the prevette's will join in on the fun!!! the kid's will have fun!!!
5:30: we will all leave the carr's house (hopefully we will have remembered to clean up before we leave!) and head back to providence for the volunteer only event - a live concert!! SO MUCH FUN!!!!
6:30: live concert starts!!!
8:30: head home and get ready for bed!!!!!
tomorrow we will be at elevation pretty much all day!! and all i can say is YEAH!!! my kid's are soooo excited about the day we have planned. they have asked me if they will get to go to clubhouse (which is where the children of volunteers go during one service, so that they are only in their area of ekidz for one service). they have the most fabulous teacher in clubhouse. they just love her and can't wait to see her tomorrow!!!
so this is the event schedule for the day:
9am: arrive @ elevation/butler campus to ensure our ekidz booth is all set up and ready to invite new volunteers to join our ranks!
9:45: will attend most of the first service while kids are in clubhouse!
** will leave service early to recruit our new volunteers!!!
11:30: will take a deep breath and get ready for the next wave of new volunteers who will be coming out of the 11:15 service!!
12:45ish: will leave butler campus and head over to providence campus - will get lunch on the fly and pick up johanna and hopefully ronna too!!
1:45: need to be at providence to get ready for josh's baptism!!! WOOWOO!!!!
2:30: joshua, ken and 142 other new believers will get baptized!!! YEAHHHHH!!!!
3:30: go to the carr's house for food, fellowship and a little rest and relaxation! the prevette's will join in on the fun!!! the kid's will have fun!!!
5:30: we will all leave the carr's house (hopefully we will have remembered to clean up before we leave!) and head back to providence for the volunteer only event - a live concert!! SO MUCH FUN!!!!
6:30: live concert starts!!!
8:30: head home and get ready for bed!!!!!
2.08.2008
not to watch...
i realized that i didn't ever tell you what i had decided to do in my decision about whether or not to watch the season premiere of lost. ok, so i did not watch it. i watched 2 episodes of season one last week. i have been watching one to two episodes a night for about the last month. not every night have i been able to watch one. but when i sit down to watch tv (aka: my laptop) i watch an episode of lost. i am excited to report... i only have 2 episodes of season 1 left to watch. i will finish those this weekend! i may go ahead and watch the season premiere and last night's episode in the next week or so. i may integrate the new shows with the old ones, unless i feel too "lost".
i must say i am thankful that abc puts all their shows online - it is my cheap version of "dvr". we don't have dvr or cable for that matter. so it is really nice to be able to watch any show at any time on abc.com. and honestly my fave shows are all on abc (gray's anatomy, private practice & october road) now if fox would put house and american idol online i would be ecstatic!!
i must say i am thankful that abc puts all their shows online - it is my cheap version of "dvr". we don't have dvr or cable for that matter. so it is really nice to be able to watch any show at any time on abc.com. and honestly my fave shows are all on abc (gray's anatomy, private practice & october road) now if fox would put house and american idol online i would be ecstatic!!
what's going through my mind today...
i have a lot of things that i want to blog about today, but i can't really seem to form complete sentences or any kind of worthwhile post on any one situation. here is a list of my thoughts for today...
1. it has been a long week, taking care of my sick children has not been so fun. it is very exhausting and i have had several nights of interrupted sleep. i haven't been feeling good either. so a sick mommy and sick kids makes for a long week. i am ready for us all to be healthy again. and i am happy to report we are on the path to recovery!!!
2. we have crossed out several commitments on our schedule this week because of everyone being sick. so we haven't been as busy going places and doing things. although, i am getting a little stir-crazy!
3. my husband is wonderful because he has understood that i am stir crazy, he has watched to kiddos for me this week to go to the grocery store by myself (which if he didn't he realized starvation may start to set in), to meet anita at Starbucks for a wonderful coffee night, and to top it off he is going to watch them tonight so that i can go to a "girl's night out" with a group of ladies from elevation! we are going out for a dinner and a movie. i am looking forward to that. i wasn't sure if i would make it, but today i am feeling much better then the past two days.
4. we have a big day coming up on Sunday!! it is elevation's 2 year anniversary!! woohooo! we have a packed day! it is going to be busy but a lot of fun. jamil and i will both be busy with our roles as volunteers at elevation during the worship experiences. then afterwards, joshua is going to be baptized!! we are so excited!! that evening we will attend the concert that is for volunteers of elevation! what a great way to celebrate the day!
....note: i realize these probably came across pretty "surfacey", while i am at a spot where i can not share more transparently, i did my best to share a little bit of what is going on around here. perhaps i can share in a more real way at a later time.
1. it has been a long week, taking care of my sick children has not been so fun. it is very exhausting and i have had several nights of interrupted sleep. i haven't been feeling good either. so a sick mommy and sick kids makes for a long week. i am ready for us all to be healthy again. and i am happy to report we are on the path to recovery!!!
2. we have crossed out several commitments on our schedule this week because of everyone being sick. so we haven't been as busy going places and doing things. although, i am getting a little stir-crazy!
3. my husband is wonderful because he has understood that i am stir crazy, he has watched to kiddos for me this week to go to the grocery store by myself (which if he didn't he realized starvation may start to set in), to meet anita at Starbucks for a wonderful coffee night, and to top it off he is going to watch them tonight so that i can go to a "girl's night out" with a group of ladies from elevation! we are going out for a dinner and a movie. i am looking forward to that. i wasn't sure if i would make it, but today i am feeling much better then the past two days.
4. we have a big day coming up on Sunday!! it is elevation's 2 year anniversary!! woohooo! we have a packed day! it is going to be busy but a lot of fun. jamil and i will both be busy with our roles as volunteers at elevation during the worship experiences. then afterwards, joshua is going to be baptized!! we are so excited!! that evening we will attend the concert that is for volunteers of elevation! what a great way to celebrate the day!
....note: i realize these probably came across pretty "surfacey", while i am at a spot where i can not share more transparently, i did my best to share a little bit of what is going on around here. perhaps i can share in a more real way at a later time.
2.06.2008
covered but hanging out to dry...
jamil and i are going to have a conversation with someone. it concerns setting boundaries in a situation with people who are friends. the boundaries do not have to do with the friendship. without too many details, it has been something i have been praying about. i have been praying for clarity and for a direction. i really want to be obedient to God's will for me in this conversation. the situation directly effects me and our family.
i have had a group of people praying for me over this conversation too. i feel the situation has been covered in prayer. but i feel like i am still hanging out to dry. i don't know that i have a clear answer to the situation. i don't know that i have clear wisdom or words to express what needs to happen.
because of the timeliness of the situation, i have put God on a timeline. i need an answer and i need it now. i know He hears me, but i think He is waiting to the last minute to provide His answer. i also wonder what happens f the time comes and i don't have the answer but the conversation is ready to happen. what then?
i will continue to seek His will and His guidance. i know the situation is covered in prayer. i don't want to be left hanging out to dry.
i have had a group of people praying for me over this conversation too. i feel the situation has been covered in prayer. but i feel like i am still hanging out to dry. i don't know that i have a clear answer to the situation. i don't know that i have clear wisdom or words to express what needs to happen.
because of the timeliness of the situation, i have put God on a timeline. i need an answer and i need it now. i know He hears me, but i think He is waiting to the last minute to provide His answer. i also wonder what happens f the time comes and i don't have the answer but the conversation is ready to happen. what then?
i will continue to seek His will and His guidance. i know the situation is covered in prayer. i don't want to be left hanging out to dry.
2.05.2008
too many germs...
over the last three weeks, atleast one member of our family has been sick and it is continuing through this week. joshua has had strep throat, cold and cough, and yesterday he was home with a sore throat. jordyn has had flu like symptoms and a fever, cough and a cold. jesiah started with a runny nose and now has come full circle and yesterday he started with fever and flu-like symptoms. jamil has come down with some cold symptoms - he never lets on if he is really feeling bad - he just grins and bares it! i felt pretty rotten last week, was feeling better and today i woke up with a sore throat. not fair.
we have been through the ringer! and i am exhausted. taking care of sick kids and dispensing medicine left and right has left me frustrated. i am ready to get everyone well - including me - who never seems to get taken care of because i am busy taking care of everyone else.
we have been through the ringer! and i am exhausted. taking care of sick kids and dispensing medicine left and right has left me frustrated. i am ready to get everyone well - including me - who never seems to get taken care of because i am busy taking care of everyone else.
2.02.2008
thinking orange...
if you have wondered where i have been the last two days... here is your answer... i have been with an awesome group of leaders (from family ministry at elevation) attending the orange tour! it has been an amazing last two days. it was full of great information, ideas and inspiration (nehemiah 4:13). God has given me some answers and refueled my passion for family ministry, and specifically children's ministry.
after taking a bit of break from serving and coordinating in family ministry (because of our unexpected transition between our previous church and our new church - elevation!!!) God has clearly shown me where i am to be. i feel like i have found a place and a passion again! praise Him for the first part of his answer to my prayers. i will be giving more details and more thoughts in a later post!
you can check out phillip's blog (elevation's awesome family pastor!) for links and details on the orange tour!!!
after taking a bit of break from serving and coordinating in family ministry (because of our unexpected transition between our previous church and our new church - elevation!!!) God has clearly shown me where i am to be. i feel like i have found a place and a passion again! praise Him for the first part of his answer to my prayers. i will be giving more details and more thoughts in a later post!
you can check out phillip's blog (elevation's awesome family pastor!) for links and details on the orange tour!!!
1.31.2008
to watch or not to watch....
so one of my decisions today is whether or not to watch the season premiere of lost. a few weeks ago, i decided to watch all three seasons of lost. my goal was to watch them all before the season premiere. well, that has far from happening. i am about 3/4 of the way through season 1. i don't know why i thought i would be able to watch all three seasons in less than a month. it isn't like i sit around all day watching tv and chilling out. i have been doing good to watch one episode a night and usually that is between 10 and 11 at night.
this goal started out with my husband along side of me. but he hasn't been able to keep up his end of the deal (which means by the time we start watching, he is tired and falls asleep). so i have been making my way through the past episodes all by myself. fearing that abc.com will take off the past 3 seasons. let's pray they don't!
anyway, i am hooked! and i am trying to decide if i should watch the premiere tonight or wait until i finish all three seasons. will i be "lost" if i watch it tonight? will i have missed to much?
if you are a lost fan and reading this.... please give me your input?? to watch or not to watch??
this goal started out with my husband along side of me. but he hasn't been able to keep up his end of the deal (which means by the time we start watching, he is tired and falls asleep). so i have been making my way through the past episodes all by myself. fearing that abc.com will take off the past 3 seasons. let's pray they don't!
anyway, i am hooked! and i am trying to decide if i should watch the premiere tonight or wait until i finish all three seasons. will i be "lost" if i watch it tonight? will i have missed to much?
if you are a lost fan and reading this.... please give me your input?? to watch or not to watch??
his own decision...
on tuesday afternoon, i asked joshua if he was ready to go to our meeting that evening. he remembered that he and i were going to "go deep". (go deep, as i mentioned in a previous post, was a meeting for kids at elevation to explore baptism.) he also remembered that it was basketball practice night. he told me he wanted to go to basketball practice and he would attend "go deep" another time. i explained to him that if he wanted to be baptized this was his chance to learn more and he had to go to this class before getting baptized.
during our conversation, he thought of different ways he could attend both and he changed his mind several times. i really wanted this decision to be his. i also felt if he made the "right" choice that it would say a lot about his decision to be baptized. we went back and forth and talked through it. it was a tough decision. he loves basketball. and jamil is his coach so they get to spend this time together.
then, i told joshua a story from my own personal life of how i had to make a hard decision last week when two important events fell on one night. momtourage (my women's book study) and movement (leadership development meeting) were both scheduled for monday night. i told him how mommy had to choose the meeting over the book study. i didn't tell him we actually cancelled momtourage because over half of us were at movement. this story really registered with him.
i told joshua i would let him think about it. i left the kitchen.
when i returned, joshua had two photo cards in front of him. both of them were from pastor and holly, pictures of their family. immediately, fearing they would get ripped or smudged or stained, i told him to put them back on the refrigerator. he said "no, mom, looking at these pictures are helping me to make my decision about the meeting tonight. i am looking at pastor steven." so i asked, "what do you think pastor steven would want you to choose, basketball or go deep?" he said, "go deep".
then i asked out of curiousity, "what do you think your daddy would want you to choose?" he said, "basketball". which this response is totally of a seven year old who loves his daddy and knows daddy loves basketball.
joshua continues to amaze me. i was shocked that he thought to look at a picture of our pastor to help make his decision. he knew what pastor would do. he knew the right decision was to choose go deep. it was a hard decision, but in the end he did choose "go deep".
thinking of how he used a picture of pastor, the leader of our church, spoke volumes to me about who Pastor is. joshua has only met and been around pastor a very few times. and when he is, joshua says little, he really just looks at him and stares. he has developed a respect for Pastor. even a seven year old little boy can identify the high calling God has on Pastor Steven's life.
moments like this really affirm to me that jamil and i aren't doing such a bad job raising this little boy to be a Godly man.
joshua will be baptized at elevation on feb. 10 at 2:30!! it is going to be an awesome day for the life of our church and also for our family.
during our conversation, he thought of different ways he could attend both and he changed his mind several times. i really wanted this decision to be his. i also felt if he made the "right" choice that it would say a lot about his decision to be baptized. we went back and forth and talked through it. it was a tough decision. he loves basketball. and jamil is his coach so they get to spend this time together.
then, i told joshua a story from my own personal life of how i had to make a hard decision last week when two important events fell on one night. momtourage (my women's book study) and movement (leadership development meeting) were both scheduled for monday night. i told him how mommy had to choose the meeting over the book study. i didn't tell him we actually cancelled momtourage because over half of us were at movement. this story really registered with him.
i told joshua i would let him think about it. i left the kitchen.
when i returned, joshua had two photo cards in front of him. both of them were from pastor and holly, pictures of their family. immediately, fearing they would get ripped or smudged or stained, i told him to put them back on the refrigerator. he said "no, mom, looking at these pictures are helping me to make my decision about the meeting tonight. i am looking at pastor steven." so i asked, "what do you think pastor steven would want you to choose, basketball or go deep?" he said, "go deep".
then i asked out of curiousity, "what do you think your daddy would want you to choose?" he said, "basketball". which this response is totally of a seven year old who loves his daddy and knows daddy loves basketball.
joshua continues to amaze me. i was shocked that he thought to look at a picture of our pastor to help make his decision. he knew what pastor would do. he knew the right decision was to choose go deep. it was a hard decision, but in the end he did choose "go deep".
thinking of how he used a picture of pastor, the leader of our church, spoke volumes to me about who Pastor is. joshua has only met and been around pastor a very few times. and when he is, joshua says little, he really just looks at him and stares. he has developed a respect for Pastor. even a seven year old little boy can identify the high calling God has on Pastor Steven's life.
moments like this really affirm to me that jamil and i aren't doing such a bad job raising this little boy to be a Godly man.
joshua will be baptized at elevation on feb. 10 at 2:30!! it is going to be an awesome day for the life of our church and also for our family.
1.29.2008
what i have been doing...
this past weekend i attended the revolve tour with a group of wonderful high school girls! we had a great time friday night and all day saturday. on friday afternoon, my friend stephanie came into charlotte from georgia with one of her girls from her youth group so they can attend the tour. and on saturday, my friend anita joined in on the fun! i must say we had a great time. but i felt a little out of my element during the hawk nelson concert - although a group of us went "backstage" to meet them and i do have an autographed copy of the program.
on sunday, the kids and i spent the morning at elevation for all three services at providence. i was there to work with the e-kidz volunteer coordinator! she is training me to do what she does at our butler campus. i am soooo excited. i am going to be working directly with her as well as the children's director at butler. i love both of those gals!! and i am honored to serve elevation in this capacity!!
monday was spent getting back into the swing of things. and then we had a leadership development meeting - now to be called "movement" for elevation! what an awesome experience. to hear pastor share from his heart and to be surrounded by a room (crowded one at that) full of unified leaders is a great way to start off the week!
today, my friend chelsea came over. our girls had a great time playing together. her daughter, anagrace is jordyn's first best friend. they were busy playing while we were able to get into a few good conversations! as well as a little pampering session!! it is always a good day when we can have friends come over and a chance to be real!!!
just like last week... on thursday, i was having a pretty bad morning. i had plans to get together with anita and was thinking about canceling. as i sat on the phone and doing a few things on the laptop, i looked at my extremely messy house and my undressed messy haired kiddos, she pulled into my driveway. talk about being real. she got to see me and all my realness that day! but having her and her girls come over that day was a blessing! i am so glad she didn't call before coming b/c if she had, i would have canceled on her.
tonight, was a great night (with a story that i must save for a future blog post), joshua and i attended a meeting for kids who are interested in being baptized!! elevation has a baptism coming up in a few weeks. this meeting went over the basics of baptism for kids. of course, it was done elevation style -- nothing less than excellent! they had a skit with hilarious actors who walked us through accepting christ, being baptized and sharing christ with friends! joshua has decided to be baptized! yeah! he made the decision to miss basketball practice to go to this meeting tonight! i was very proud of him!
on sunday, the kids and i spent the morning at elevation for all three services at providence. i was there to work with the e-kidz volunteer coordinator! she is training me to do what she does at our butler campus. i am soooo excited. i am going to be working directly with her as well as the children's director at butler. i love both of those gals!! and i am honored to serve elevation in this capacity!!
monday was spent getting back into the swing of things. and then we had a leadership development meeting - now to be called "movement" for elevation! what an awesome experience. to hear pastor share from his heart and to be surrounded by a room (crowded one at that) full of unified leaders is a great way to start off the week!
today, my friend chelsea came over. our girls had a great time playing together. her daughter, anagrace is jordyn's first best friend. they were busy playing while we were able to get into a few good conversations! as well as a little pampering session!! it is always a good day when we can have friends come over and a chance to be real!!!
just like last week... on thursday, i was having a pretty bad morning. i had plans to get together with anita and was thinking about canceling. as i sat on the phone and doing a few things on the laptop, i looked at my extremely messy house and my undressed messy haired kiddos, she pulled into my driveway. talk about being real. she got to see me and all my realness that day! but having her and her girls come over that day was a blessing! i am so glad she didn't call before coming b/c if she had, i would have canceled on her.
tonight, was a great night (with a story that i must save for a future blog post), joshua and i attended a meeting for kids who are interested in being baptized!! elevation has a baptism coming up in a few weeks. this meeting went over the basics of baptism for kids. of course, it was done elevation style -- nothing less than excellent! they had a skit with hilarious actors who walked us through accepting christ, being baptized and sharing christ with friends! joshua has decided to be baptized! yeah! he made the decision to miss basketball practice to go to this meeting tonight! i was very proud of him!
1.25.2008
slow down...
as i was driving way too fast yesterday, racing to pick up my son from school, a huge tractor trailer pulled out right in front of me. i was on my phone making plans with another small group leader. i decide to use the left turn lane to go around him (i guess that is called illegal passing). as i am flying down the center lane, i spot a police officer in the other lane. great - so i figure since i am in the left lane, i should pretend to turn left. i had to drive a few hundred feet to reach my destination. as i begin turning into the random parking lot, the police officer follows me with his lights on.
panicked by the thought of being late picking up josh and getting a ticket we can no way afford - i began to get upset. when the officer came to my side, i explained (sobbing and slurring) i was running late and needed to get my son. i also mumbled a bunch of stuff i don't remember exactly what. doing anything i can to plead my case to get out of this situation i put myself in. he explained he still needed my license.
as he is running my plates, i called a friend to grab joshua from car pool for me. he came back to tell me that he was letting me go. he told me, ma'am you need to slow down, because it really didn't pay off to get pulled over, it only took more time out of my day (his too, i am sure he was thinking).
those were two words i needed to hear yesterday. it has been a wild and crazy busy week. the police officer's two words telling me to slow down, i think were a gift from God - words that God would have told me earlier in the week, if i had only stopped to SLOW DOWN long enough to hear Him.
i got the message loud and clear and gratefully without a huge penalty to pay (i am so sorry my friend erin was not so lucky to get out of hers last week)
panicked by the thought of being late picking up josh and getting a ticket we can no way afford - i began to get upset. when the officer came to my side, i explained (sobbing and slurring) i was running late and needed to get my son. i also mumbled a bunch of stuff i don't remember exactly what. doing anything i can to plead my case to get out of this situation i put myself in. he explained he still needed my license.
as he is running my plates, i called a friend to grab joshua from car pool for me. he came back to tell me that he was letting me go. he told me, ma'am you need to slow down, because it really didn't pay off to get pulled over, it only took more time out of my day (his too, i am sure he was thinking).
those were two words i needed to hear yesterday. it has been a wild and crazy busy week. the police officer's two words telling me to slow down, i think were a gift from God - words that God would have told me earlier in the week, if i had only stopped to SLOW DOWN long enough to hear Him.
i got the message loud and clear and gratefully without a huge penalty to pay (i am so sorry my friend erin was not so lucky to get out of hers last week)
1.23.2008
have to/want to
here is a list of what i have to do today...
~ unpack from our trip
~ clean the house (not just straighten up - deep clean!!) - we are having a houseful of friends this weekend for the Revolve tour!!
~ laundry
~ make a list and go to the grocery store
~ more laundry
~ pick up josh from school
~ did i say laundry?
here is what i want to do today....
~ read blogs
~ catch up on emails
~ talk to the phone
~ work on stuff for ekidz (which in a future post, i will explain the new role i am taking on!!!!)
~ finish a book with only a few chapters left
~ watch the next 5 episodes of "Lost:Season 1"
~ download songs and podcasts to my ipod
~ listen to the sermon from Sunday
can i do it all??? sure i am super mom with super multi tasking powers!
yeah right!
~ unpack from our trip
~ clean the house (not just straighten up - deep clean!!) - we are having a houseful of friends this weekend for the Revolve tour!!
~ laundry
~ make a list and go to the grocery store
~ more laundry
~ pick up josh from school
~ did i say laundry?
here is what i want to do today....
~ read blogs
~ catch up on emails
~ talk to the phone
~ work on stuff for ekidz (which in a future post, i will explain the new role i am taking on!!!!)
~ finish a book with only a few chapters left
~ watch the next 5 episodes of "Lost:Season 1"
~ download songs and podcasts to my ipod
~ listen to the sermon from Sunday
can i do it all??? sure i am super mom with super multi tasking powers!
yeah right!
life verses...
if you look over to the right on my blog you will notice that i added 2 life verses. a few weeks ago, my friend, marybeth, challenged her readers to find a life verse for this new year. i thought, searched and prayed for one that i could really use this year. one that could sustain me, encourage me, comfort me and one that i could really her God speaking through me. well now i have mine!! two actually.
life verse #2 is one that i have always held tight to. it speaks to me when i am fearful or full of worry. it also prevents me from getting anxious when a new situation in my life arises. i have to keep that one around. jamil actually reminded me that it was a life verse of mine. so i am keeping that one around!!
now the story of how i acquired life verse #1. two weeks ago in our small group, i was blessed with this verse! we were each given cards to write our names on and then we were to write something encouraging on the card about each other. i recalled doing something very similar when i was in high school and then also several years ago in a women's bible study. i have held onto the words that were written to me. i love to go back and read them. it is very encouraging to read those especially when you are feeling beaten down.
when i received my card back it was full of encouraging and loving words! also, written on my card was a reference to matthew 6:33, written by our small group leader. after reading what he wrote and thinking about that scripture reference i realized that was the life verse i had been praying for! it is wonderful to think about how God works and how he used john to deliver the answer to my prayer.
so here is my shout out to our awesome leaders, john and heather - thank you for all you do, for being obedient to God, for blessing our lives and for being who God made you - you are the greatest leaders and we love being a part of your group - the best group ever!!
life verse #2 is one that i have always held tight to. it speaks to me when i am fearful or full of worry. it also prevents me from getting anxious when a new situation in my life arises. i have to keep that one around. jamil actually reminded me that it was a life verse of mine. so i am keeping that one around!!
now the story of how i acquired life verse #1. two weeks ago in our small group, i was blessed with this verse! we were each given cards to write our names on and then we were to write something encouraging on the card about each other. i recalled doing something very similar when i was in high school and then also several years ago in a women's bible study. i have held onto the words that were written to me. i love to go back and read them. it is very encouraging to read those especially when you are feeling beaten down.
when i received my card back it was full of encouraging and loving words! also, written on my card was a reference to matthew 6:33, written by our small group leader. after reading what he wrote and thinking about that scripture reference i realized that was the life verse i had been praying for! it is wonderful to think about how God works and how he used john to deliver the answer to my prayer.
so here is my shout out to our awesome leaders, john and heather - thank you for all you do, for being obedient to God, for blessing our lives and for being who God made you - you are the greatest leaders and we love being a part of your group - the best group ever!!
1.22.2008
weekend getaway...
we spent this past weekend visiting our friends, the wilkerson's who live in georgia. they moved to villa rica, georgia in november. and with a long weekend we were able to travel to see them. we left friday evening and came home late yesterday. it was a great weekend away. the kids had a great time - all six of them. the wilkerson's have three boys who are the same ages as our three.
after staying up way too late on friday night, saturday we spent relaxing and watching the snow fall! the kids loved playing with each other, especially when we went out for a snowball fight. we watched a movie (rush hour 3 - funny!!) after the kids were in bed. on sunday stephanie took me for a tour of the town, we went out to lunch and then up (or down?) to douglasville to go shopping. it was a fun day! (btw - they are having a killer sale at children's place!! if you need kid's clothes go check out their monster sale!!). we relaxed and ate a late dinner that night. after a few tears, we headed back home yesterday. josh didn't want to leave his best buddy, elijah. we hit some stand still traffic on 85 which put us behind about an hour and a half. not too fun. but we got home safe and sound, here are a few pics:
after staying up way too late on friday night, saturday we spent relaxing and watching the snow fall! the kids loved playing with each other, especially when we went out for a snowball fight. we watched a movie (rush hour 3 - funny!!) after the kids were in bed. on sunday stephanie took me for a tour of the town, we went out to lunch and then up (or down?) to douglasville to go shopping. it was a fun day! (btw - they are having a killer sale at children's place!! if you need kid's clothes go check out their monster sale!!). we relaxed and ate a late dinner that night. after a few tears, we headed back home yesterday. josh didn't want to leave his best buddy, elijah. we hit some stand still traffic on 85 which put us behind about an hour and a half. not too fun. but we got home safe and sound, here are a few pics:
1.17.2008
mood swings...
up early because of phone call ~ grumpy mom.
check weather - snow everywhere ~ happy mom
school's closed today ~ happy mom!
no school ~ no driving to school ~ happy mom!
josh home = extra kid ~ happy mom!
hubby has to go to work ~ sad mom
find 101 temp and sore throat on joshua ~ sad mom!
adding "day care" kid (four total now) ~ stressed mom
doing some volunteer work for elevation ~ happy mom!
long phone conversation (2 hours 24 min.) with best friend ~ happy happy mom!
youngest locks bathroom door - struggle to unlock it ~ frustrated mom.
call waiting comes in from long distant best friend ~ happy mom!
making plans to go see long distant best friend ~ really happy mom!
lost internet connection ~ frustrated mom.
realized it wasn't lost b/c of failure to pay bill ~ relieved mom!
lost volunteer work - excel doc. ~ grumpy mom.
bf's husband tried to help find the doc. - over the phone - couldn't ~ appreciative mom
messy messy house ~ grumpy mom!
hungry kids + hungry mom = grumpier mom.
make soup and sandwiches, mom wants to eat something other than that ~ discontent mom
ask kid's to clean up messy rooms - doesn't get done the way i want ~ stressed mom
tell them to forget cleaning up it is time for naps ~ relieved mom
put all four kids down for naps in a 3 bedroom house ~ challenged mom
take oldest's temp. still 101 ~ worried mom
one kid sleeping in our walk in closet ~ guilty mom
everyone quiet ~ happy mom
have time for myself: to finish volunteer work, check email, read & write blogs ~ happy mom!!!!
make time for a quiet time with the lord ~ content and joyful mom!!!
check weather - snow everywhere ~ happy mom
school's closed today ~ happy mom!
no school ~ no driving to school ~ happy mom!
josh home = extra kid ~ happy mom!
hubby has to go to work ~ sad mom
find 101 temp and sore throat on joshua ~ sad mom!
adding "day care" kid (four total now) ~ stressed mom
doing some volunteer work for elevation ~ happy mom!
long phone conversation (2 hours 24 min.) with best friend ~ happy happy mom!
youngest locks bathroom door - struggle to unlock it ~ frustrated mom.
call waiting comes in from long distant best friend ~ happy mom!
making plans to go see long distant best friend ~ really happy mom!
lost internet connection ~ frustrated mom.
realized it wasn't lost b/c of failure to pay bill ~ relieved mom!
lost volunteer work - excel doc. ~ grumpy mom.
bf's husband tried to help find the doc. - over the phone - couldn't ~ appreciative mom
messy messy house ~ grumpy mom!
hungry kids + hungry mom = grumpier mom.
make soup and sandwiches, mom wants to eat something other than that ~ discontent mom
ask kid's to clean up messy rooms - doesn't get done the way i want ~ stressed mom
tell them to forget cleaning up it is time for naps ~ relieved mom
put all four kids down for naps in a 3 bedroom house ~ challenged mom
take oldest's temp. still 101 ~ worried mom
one kid sleeping in our walk in closet ~ guilty mom
everyone quiet ~ happy mom
have time for myself: to finish volunteer work, check email, read & write blogs ~ happy mom!!!!
make time for a quiet time with the lord ~ content and joyful mom!!!
1.15.2008
accomplishments...
as a wife and a mom, i don't feel like i accomplish much of anything in a day. i pretty much see a lot of my days as "failures". i have this list of stuff to do everyday and it never gets done. and that makes me feel like i am failing. i am not accomplishing anything. many of the things on my list have been there for weeks and weeks. and it isn't like i am not doing anything, it is just that everything i do gets undone. i mean everything. a task is never completed in my life as it is now. i have a very driven personality and thrive on getting things done. when i feel i have accomplished something, i feel productive and like i have a purpose.
i have been out of the "workforce" pretty much since joshua was born, which was over seven years ago. that i do not regret. jamil and i made the choice best for our family, which was for me to be at home with our children. i question that choice only when it comes to the financial decisions and positions we have been in and are it. but that is the only time i have questioned it. we have learned a lot and we have sacrificed A LOT. when i think about that i feel like we haven't accomplished much of anything financially. our position stays the same. frustrating to say the least.
being a stay at home mom for some reason hasn't seem to fulfill my need for accomplishment. maybe because what i do every day gets undone by three sets of little hands. laundry is never completed, we are always digging through the basket for clean socks and underwear, hey, at least they are clean. there is a never ending trail of toys around our house and when they get picked up they are never put away where i'd like them to go. as soon as i vacuum or mop something is spilled and i have to do it all over again. the dishwasher is always full with no room for more and just as i have it cleaned up, i cook another meal and there is another mess. there are always bills to be paid or arrangements to be made, and as soon as they are taken care of another one comes in. my basket of paperwork is always full, as soon as it is clear, the mail comes in or the folder from school is unloaded. the calendar is always packed with parties, practices, lessons, meetings etc. and just as soon as the gas tank is full, it disappears again. my point in saying that is again, everything i touch gets undone. it doesn't stay completed. and i find myself frustrated every single day.
up until the summer of last year, in addition to my life as a mom, i always have had something on my plate to organize, plan, conquer, strategize and be challenged by. when we left our previous church in may of last year, we stepped down from a staff position (which was jamil's but i was his untitled and unpaid "assistant" pastor) as well as volunteer positions (notice the plural there b/c i mean more than one for real). for several years, i coordinated a mops (mothers of preschoolers) group. it was a challenge and it really was a part time job. it kept me quite busy. and that combined with assisting jamil, plus all the other stuff i volunteered for, i was over the top busy. i felt a sense of accomplishment over those several years.
over the last several months, i haven't had these types of responsibilities on my plate. i think God removed them from me for a reason. i think that he wanted me in a less busy state so that i can focus more on Him. and honestly, i have been able to do that. i have been careful in what i say yes to. i also say no a lot more. i have been intentional about the balance in my life. but yet i am stil not feeling a sense of "getting the job done"
so i sit here thinking i need something more to do. i think that but have the fear of becoming too busy. or maybe it is the fear of disobedience. didn't God already take those areas that caused too much disruption to our family, didn't he take them away from me for a reason? but for some reason i feel the need to add something else, something that perhaps i can do and it will stay done.
so it has come to this place for me. what i think i need is a sense of accomplishment in the things that i already do. the things God has put in my path. i don't need more. i just need to pray and ask him for an attitude of contentment for what is on my plate. i just need to pray that God will show me how what i am doing right now is accomplishing something. and that adding something more isn't the solution.
i need to learn how to thrive in the areas that he has given to me already. i need to spend some time looking at how i can be more intentional in those areas i am already committed to. i need to think and pray over how i can be more intentional in the relationships he has placed in my life, my husband, my children and my friends. i can also look at the commitments i have made outside of my friends and family and how can i use my gifts to be more intentional in those areas. adding something won't fill this void. only He can fill this void. only He can show me how to feel accomplished in what He has already given to me.
i have been out of the "workforce" pretty much since joshua was born, which was over seven years ago. that i do not regret. jamil and i made the choice best for our family, which was for me to be at home with our children. i question that choice only when it comes to the financial decisions and positions we have been in and are it. but that is the only time i have questioned it. we have learned a lot and we have sacrificed A LOT. when i think about that i feel like we haven't accomplished much of anything financially. our position stays the same. frustrating to say the least.
being a stay at home mom for some reason hasn't seem to fulfill my need for accomplishment. maybe because what i do every day gets undone by three sets of little hands. laundry is never completed, we are always digging through the basket for clean socks and underwear, hey, at least they are clean. there is a never ending trail of toys around our house and when they get picked up they are never put away where i'd like them to go. as soon as i vacuum or mop something is spilled and i have to do it all over again. the dishwasher is always full with no room for more and just as i have it cleaned up, i cook another meal and there is another mess. there are always bills to be paid or arrangements to be made, and as soon as they are taken care of another one comes in. my basket of paperwork is always full, as soon as it is clear, the mail comes in or the folder from school is unloaded. the calendar is always packed with parties, practices, lessons, meetings etc. and just as soon as the gas tank is full, it disappears again. my point in saying that is again, everything i touch gets undone. it doesn't stay completed. and i find myself frustrated every single day.
up until the summer of last year, in addition to my life as a mom, i always have had something on my plate to organize, plan, conquer, strategize and be challenged by. when we left our previous church in may of last year, we stepped down from a staff position (which was jamil's but i was his untitled and unpaid "assistant" pastor) as well as volunteer positions (notice the plural there b/c i mean more than one for real). for several years, i coordinated a mops (mothers of preschoolers) group. it was a challenge and it really was a part time job. it kept me quite busy. and that combined with assisting jamil, plus all the other stuff i volunteered for, i was over the top busy. i felt a sense of accomplishment over those several years.
over the last several months, i haven't had these types of responsibilities on my plate. i think God removed them from me for a reason. i think that he wanted me in a less busy state so that i can focus more on Him. and honestly, i have been able to do that. i have been careful in what i say yes to. i also say no a lot more. i have been intentional about the balance in my life. but yet i am stil not feeling a sense of "getting the job done"
so i sit here thinking i need something more to do. i think that but have the fear of becoming too busy. or maybe it is the fear of disobedience. didn't God already take those areas that caused too much disruption to our family, didn't he take them away from me for a reason? but for some reason i feel the need to add something else, something that perhaps i can do and it will stay done.
so it has come to this place for me. what i think i need is a sense of accomplishment in the things that i already do. the things God has put in my path. i don't need more. i just need to pray and ask him for an attitude of contentment for what is on my plate. i just need to pray that God will show me how what i am doing right now is accomplishing something. and that adding something more isn't the solution.
i need to learn how to thrive in the areas that he has given to me already. i need to spend some time looking at how i can be more intentional in those areas i am already committed to. i need to think and pray over how i can be more intentional in the relationships he has placed in my life, my husband, my children and my friends. i can also look at the commitments i have made outside of my friends and family and how can i use my gifts to be more intentional in those areas. adding something won't fill this void. only He can fill this void. only He can show me how to feel accomplished in what He has already given to me.
1.14.2008
he's got it!!!
last night, while we were eating dinner, joshua asked us if he could be baptized. i asked him what made him want to be baptized. i don't even recall his reply exactly, but our discussion went on to talk about what baptism is. he told us he wanted to go into the water and come out a new person. he wanted to do this so God would help him to make the right choices. jamil and i told him when he gets baptized that it is his way of telling our church family and others that he has accepted Christ into his heart and he will commit to following Him. he said he understood that and that he has God in his heart. he even prayed the prayer to God.
there have been other times he has asked to be baptized, usually when he has seen a friend do it. but jamil and i haven't felt it came from his heart, he just wanted to do it because he watched someone else. we also hadn't felt he had the right understanding of what it means to accept Christ and therefore be baptized. but this time it sincerely appears to be different.
i have seen a tremendous amount of spiritual growth in joshua over the last several months. he isn't a perfect child, he still disobeys, drives his sister crazy, talks back and can outsmart his mom. but even as adult christians, are we perfect? do we have it all together? do we make the best decisions? most certainly not. having a relationship with Christ is an ongoing ever changing process. we grow, we learn , we make mistakes, we learn again and grow some more.
i really think for where he is as a seven year old, he understands enough to make the decision to love and honor God. so, i say i think he's got it!! it's time to celebrate! another one for Christ!!
jamil and i certainly talk with him, answer questions and read bible stories to him consistently. but what he receives while being in e-kidz (elevation's awesome children's ministry) has certainly been significant in this process.
on our first day at elevation (May 13, 2007- exactly 8 months ago yesterday), joshua left saying "this is the best church i have ever been to". you have to understand elevation is only the second church josh has known. he has always felt loved, welcomed and comfortable being in e-kidz. even when we moved over to the butler campus, the transition was smooth. i am so thankful for every small group leader, teacher, greeter, actor and worship leader that joshua has been in contact with. all of these amazing volunteers have been our "partners" in achieving this goal for joshua to know and love God. words really can not express my gratitude.
it is so exciting to be a part of a church who understands and values the importance of a thriving children's ministry. a church that understands that reaching people is what it is about. a church who has a clear vision statement and never strays from that...
...so that people far from God would be filled with life in Christ!
there have been other times he has asked to be baptized, usually when he has seen a friend do it. but jamil and i haven't felt it came from his heart, he just wanted to do it because he watched someone else. we also hadn't felt he had the right understanding of what it means to accept Christ and therefore be baptized. but this time it sincerely appears to be different.
i have seen a tremendous amount of spiritual growth in joshua over the last several months. he isn't a perfect child, he still disobeys, drives his sister crazy, talks back and can outsmart his mom. but even as adult christians, are we perfect? do we have it all together? do we make the best decisions? most certainly not. having a relationship with Christ is an ongoing ever changing process. we grow, we learn , we make mistakes, we learn again and grow some more.
i really think for where he is as a seven year old, he understands enough to make the decision to love and honor God. so, i say i think he's got it!! it's time to celebrate! another one for Christ!!
jamil and i certainly talk with him, answer questions and read bible stories to him consistently. but what he receives while being in e-kidz (elevation's awesome children's ministry) has certainly been significant in this process.
on our first day at elevation (May 13, 2007- exactly 8 months ago yesterday), joshua left saying "this is the best church i have ever been to". you have to understand elevation is only the second church josh has known. he has always felt loved, welcomed and comfortable being in e-kidz. even when we moved over to the butler campus, the transition was smooth. i am so thankful for every small group leader, teacher, greeter, actor and worship leader that joshua has been in contact with. all of these amazing volunteers have been our "partners" in achieving this goal for joshua to know and love God. words really can not express my gratitude.
it is so exciting to be a part of a church who understands and values the importance of a thriving children's ministry. a church that understands that reaching people is what it is about. a church who has a clear vision statement and never strays from that...
...so that people far from God would be filled with life in Christ!
1.11.2008
disappointments...
because of pastor's sermon this past sunday, i have been thinking about disappointments a lot this week. i have thought of them in three different ways.
pastor steven referred to disappointments in regards to our Heavenly Father and how we have let Him down. that is something i know i have done and his sermon really spoke to that. the main focus of his sermon was that just because you disappoint God, He does not "un-appoint" you from what He has planned for you. that is so comforting to know that our God has a plan for us and even when we let him down or do Him wrong, he still loves us and still wants His plan for us carried out. this was the first disappointment i have thought about this week.
another way i thought of disappointment this is when we disappoint another person. i am the type of person who is built to please. a people pleaser - if you will. i thrive on building others up and not letting them down. so i really try not to disappoint other people. i have also been disappointed by other people in my life. who hasn't been? disappointing or be disappointed by someone else isn't a pleasant experience. but it happens.
what happens when we are let down by something or someone else?? this brings me to the third way i have thought of disappointment this week.
last year, i experience a lot of disappointments. and because my life was so full of them, i put them behind me and i sailed into this year with the attitude that it is a new year and i shouldn't face too many disappointments. well,i was wrong. already in this second week of this new year, i was thrown a disappointment. i didn't even see it coming, it came out of no where.
after a year of feeling beaten down, i don't have the strength to pull out of this one. it is too early. it has pretty much hit me and knocked me down. being down is not a fun place to be. it tends to immobilize me. my attitude is less than positive. my heart just feels broken and sad. my head is spinning. my body is tired.
as a wife, mom, servant and Christ follower, i have to make the decision to see past this disappointment. to rise above it. to see this as part of God's plan. to know He is with me even though i feel alone and far from Him. to feel the hope and faith that only He can provide. i have people counting on me. He is counting on me to get up from this interference that threw me off track.
but not today. i have another wound to heal. and it will take some time. i know what i need to do. i just need some time to get there.
pastor steven referred to disappointments in regards to our Heavenly Father and how we have let Him down. that is something i know i have done and his sermon really spoke to that. the main focus of his sermon was that just because you disappoint God, He does not "un-appoint" you from what He has planned for you. that is so comforting to know that our God has a plan for us and even when we let him down or do Him wrong, he still loves us and still wants His plan for us carried out. this was the first disappointment i have thought about this week.
another way i thought of disappointment this is when we disappoint another person. i am the type of person who is built to please. a people pleaser - if you will. i thrive on building others up and not letting them down. so i really try not to disappoint other people. i have also been disappointed by other people in my life. who hasn't been? disappointing or be disappointed by someone else isn't a pleasant experience. but it happens.
what happens when we are let down by something or someone else?? this brings me to the third way i have thought of disappointment this week.
last year, i experience a lot of disappointments. and because my life was so full of them, i put them behind me and i sailed into this year with the attitude that it is a new year and i shouldn't face too many disappointments. well,i was wrong. already in this second week of this new year, i was thrown a disappointment. i didn't even see it coming, it came out of no where.
after a year of feeling beaten down, i don't have the strength to pull out of this one. it is too early. it has pretty much hit me and knocked me down. being down is not a fun place to be. it tends to immobilize me. my attitude is less than positive. my heart just feels broken and sad. my head is spinning. my body is tired.
as a wife, mom, servant and Christ follower, i have to make the decision to see past this disappointment. to rise above it. to see this as part of God's plan. to know He is with me even though i feel alone and far from Him. to feel the hope and faith that only He can provide. i have people counting on me. He is counting on me to get up from this interference that threw me off track.
but not today. i have another wound to heal. and it will take some time. i know what i need to do. i just need some time to get there.
1.10.2008
wonderful number...
this week i think 3,000 is a wonderful number! first of all, as i mentioned in a previous post, elevation hit a record attendance number of over 3,000.
today, i have had over 3,000 hits on my blog since i installed the counter in october. wow. that is pretty cool. although, i must say i am very humbled by and a little bewildered at who reads this thing.
so for those of you reading - thank you so much! i hope that my blog will touch you (or someone) in some way and that God will be honored by it's existence.
today, i have had over 3,000 hits on my blog since i installed the counter in october. wow. that is pretty cool. although, i must say i am very humbled by and a little bewildered at who reads this thing.
so for those of you reading - thank you so much! i hope that my blog will touch you (or someone) in some way and that God will be honored by it's existence.
MIA...
yesterday i didn't really spend much time if any in the blog world or even on email. three of my friends were emailing back and forth yesterday, each time including me in each of the emails, we (really they) were finalizing plans for our playdate for today. but i never once "replied to all" during their "conversation" until late in the afternoon. and when i did i told them that i was sorry for being MIA. i was missing in action from the little world that lives inside my computer.
and i realized my last past was on my exhaustion. where as i am not basking in sleep and peacefulness a hotel room like my dear friend, i have caught up on some of my sleep. i am feeling a little more rested. thanks so much to all of you who were praying for me!
i actually have a few posts in the works and will work on finishing them as soon as i can. so, in the meantime i wanted you to know i haven't run away (yet) to escape this exhaustion, but i did consider hiding in chelsea's suitcase. now i am working on hugh to take us to disney world when he takes his family!!!
stay posted for more posts to come (some good stuff in the works - if i might say so myself!!)....
and i realized my last past was on my exhaustion. where as i am not basking in sleep and peacefulness a hotel room like my dear friend, i have caught up on some of my sleep. i am feeling a little more rested. thanks so much to all of you who were praying for me!
i actually have a few posts in the works and will work on finishing them as soon as i can. so, in the meantime i wanted you to know i haven't run away (yet) to escape this exhaustion, but i did consider hiding in chelsea's suitcase. now i am working on hugh to take us to disney world when he takes his family!!!
stay posted for more posts to come (some good stuff in the works - if i might say so myself!!)....
1.08.2008
exhausted to tears...
i haven't been sleeping so well over the last week or so. i will fall asleep just fine -- i have no trouble then. it is when one of my two younger children come into my room and attempt to climb in our bed. this has been happening a few times a night. they take turns. honestly, between the two of them i am sometimes up 4 or 5 times a night. once i am up i have the hardest time getting back to sleep. if i manage to get back to sleep, i am usually awaken again. and even if there is a good night and no one enters our room, i will be awaken by something else and then find it hard to fall asleep again. i lay there frustrated. and then my mind begins to wander. i will begin to worry about things. then i will begin to plan or organize in my head. then i begin to pray. sometimes i drift off to sleep other times it doesn't seem that i do. and then the alarm goes off...
last night was just as i described. and today i am as exhausted to tears. i had planned to take a nap during the kids' naptime and it did not go as planned. jordyn never took a nap so i heard hear playing in her room. at one point i drifted and then was awoken. then i laid on the couch in tears and frustrated. i needed a nap so bad, i just couldn't sleep.
now, the long afternoon begins or better known as "the bewitching hours". i will be on countdown until bedtime. it can't come soon enough. until then i will be exhausted to tears.
last night was just as i described. and today i am as exhausted to tears. i had planned to take a nap during the kids' naptime and it did not go as planned. jordyn never took a nap so i heard hear playing in her room. at one point i drifted and then was awoken. then i laid on the couch in tears and frustrated. i needed a nap so bad, i just couldn't sleep.
now, the long afternoon begins or better known as "the bewitching hours". i will be on countdown until bedtime. it can't come soon enough. until then i will be exhausted to tears.
1.07.2008
first day back...
today, was josh's first day back to school after a two week break. he wasn't thrilled to get up and get going. but he did it! so we are back in routine here. although after dropping him off this morning (at 7:45 and in my new pj's from target!) i got to come straight home!! yeah! it was so nice to not have to pick up tucker and take him and jordyn to preschool. so, this morning i have been checking and responding to email, checking our evite to momtourage (book study for moms at elevation), updating facebook, creating an icebreaker for momtourage and sending out a few evites for next sunday to elevation. jesiah and jordyn have been playing pretty well by themselves.
oh, if you haven't heard... we hit an all time high in attendance yesterday over 3500 people were at elevation chruch - b/w 2 locations and 5 services!!!! WOW! And to top the day off over 100 people gave their lives to Christ!! AMAZING!!! .... I love that word & I have been using that word a lot. It has been truly describing the things happening around here!! the things that God is doing at Elevation and in our personal life!!
today I am going to catch up on some laundry and cleaning. I will be gearing up to run to the store before momtourage. i am so excited to see my friends from momtourage and to meet all the new ladies that will be there! God is all over this group of ladies!!!
oh, if you haven't heard... we hit an all time high in attendance yesterday over 3500 people were at elevation chruch - b/w 2 locations and 5 services!!!! WOW! And to top the day off over 100 people gave their lives to Christ!! AMAZING!!! .... I love that word & I have been using that word a lot. It has been truly describing the things happening around here!! the things that God is doing at Elevation and in our personal life!!
today I am going to catch up on some laundry and cleaning. I will be gearing up to run to the store before momtourage. i am so excited to see my friends from momtourage and to meet all the new ladies that will be there! God is all over this group of ladies!!!
1.04.2008
back from target....
tonight i went to my last session of dream dinners for awhile (another thing we are cutting back on) and then on to target! i just love target. i will never forget 10 years ago when i visited my first target in matthews, nc. my friend, jen, took me there and told me i would never ever be the same after visiting "tar-jay". and i haven't been.
target is my favorite place. i love going there, i really love going without kids. so wouldn't you know i am not the only one with this obsession. i was just reading over my friend, melanie's blog and she talked about her love for it too! wow, two of us love the same place unheard of, right? all of that written in pure sarcasm. i am sure their are a lot of you out there who love you some good old "tar-jay"
here is the best part, my friend, mel put a link at the bottom of her post to this blog. a new addition to my blogroll. if you love target ~ you will love this one!
oh, i can't forget to mention i am sitting here typing this in my new jammies that were on clearance!! gotta love it!! this post will serve as my gotta love it/gotta have it post. i hadn't done one of those in awhile.
target is my favorite place. i love going there, i really love going without kids. so wouldn't you know i am not the only one with this obsession. i was just reading over my friend, melanie's blog and she talked about her love for it too! wow, two of us love the same place unheard of, right? all of that written in pure sarcasm. i am sure their are a lot of you out there who love you some good old "tar-jay"
here is the best part, my friend, mel put a link at the bottom of her post to this blog. a new addition to my blogroll. if you love target ~ you will love this one!
oh, i can't forget to mention i am sitting here typing this in my new jammies that were on clearance!! gotta love it!! this post will serve as my gotta love it/gotta have it post. i hadn't done one of those in awhile.
settling down...
it seems to be a common theme amongst my friends, family and fellow bloggers that everyone has this need to cut back, take out the busy-ness, and to stop overcommiting. it seems everyone is looking for a more simple life. and that definitely includes me.
ever since the beginning of the school year, when i took on a lot of responsibilities in a short amount of time, i haven't felt settled or in a routine. i ran around a lot with no real direction it seemed.
for the first couple of weeks i questioned decisions i had made about commitments in my life and felt like something needed to change, that i needed to cut something back. but i didn't know what. i waited for an answer from whoever would give it to me. it didn't ever come... i just kept up this really ridiculous pace for over four months.
i don't want to bore you with the details of my schedule but let me tell you it was a nightmare. running from school to school, picking up kids, dropping them off, running errands, running useless errands, spending more money than i had, sitting and waiting to drop off at one of two schools or pick up at a school. then then i would get home and it was near time to make dinner, check homework, sort through mail (aka throwing it in a pretty basket on the counter most of the time), return emails and phone calls and then time again to run somewhere else or wait for someone to be picked up. i kept hearing the words you need to cut back, you are doing too much from so many people. but i didn't know how or what to cut back on, what to say "no" too. everything i said yes to was to benefit my family right? school, preschool, part time jobs, extra activities... those are all great things until they have you so exhausted you can't function.
at the end of the day or really the end of the afternoon, i was exhausted and so stressed out. i was so exhausted that my husband and kid's got second best from me. they got a tired, grouchy, unhappy wife and mom who just yelled and snipped and fussed. i was exhausted from being that person, exhausted from giving my family the leftovers. i was stressed because i was always on the go and doing and things weren't getting done at home. i needed a break, a change, a solution.
over the holiday break, i evaluated my daily schedule. a great time to do it because it was quiet around here. we didn't need to go anywhere and i saw my life with a lot of "no's"; no school, no car pool, no waiting in car pool or parking lots, no driving all over the place, no preschool, no working at preschool, no picking up the little boy i care for, no waiting on his parents to pick him up, no spending extra money or running useless errands, no ballet, no basketball, no doctor's appointments, no work for jamil, no small group to lead, no small group to attend, no book study. no. none. a lot of family time and time spent doing things around the house and errands that were a necessity. simple life and settled down.
you may read this and think that is no different from what i do. or you may read this and be dog tired. for me, i realized by looking at all i do in a day, things could be rearranged and cut back. but it would mean i would have to say "NO" to some things.
God helped us in this process by giving us some answers. the biggest decision i made to was to take jordyn out of preschool (gasp... i am sure some of you are doing that right now). taking her out of preschool would mean a lot of time freed up in that crazy mess of a schedule. her preschool is a good 20-25 minute drive from home. (which i did for josh for 2 years and i couldn't make it through one more year.) with it being so far away from home two days a week i was stuck out away from home basically killing time and spending money that i didn't have. the third day of the week, i worked at her preschool basically which paid for her to go there. another day of the week i had to be away from home. and in that crazy schedule i manage to keep an extra child, picking him up from home and preschool as well as taking him to preschool. not to mention taking josh to school every day and picking him up 3 days (praise God for Angie who i car pool with).
all that to say, i made a huge decision that really goes against the grain of what most moms do. i said no to the preschool. i pounded myself with guilt and waivered on my decision several times a day. but i needed to do it for the sake of my sanity and the sake of my family.
i am ready to settle down. i am ready to live a more simple life. i am ready to give my family my firsts. and not my seconds.
it has been quite a journey. it has taken a while to get to this place of desiring a simple life. i am glad to be on my way to living a life that gives my family and friends my best.
ever since the beginning of the school year, when i took on a lot of responsibilities in a short amount of time, i haven't felt settled or in a routine. i ran around a lot with no real direction it seemed.
for the first couple of weeks i questioned decisions i had made about commitments in my life and felt like something needed to change, that i needed to cut something back. but i didn't know what. i waited for an answer from whoever would give it to me. it didn't ever come... i just kept up this really ridiculous pace for over four months.
i don't want to bore you with the details of my schedule but let me tell you it was a nightmare. running from school to school, picking up kids, dropping them off, running errands, running useless errands, spending more money than i had, sitting and waiting to drop off at one of two schools or pick up at a school. then then i would get home and it was near time to make dinner, check homework, sort through mail (aka throwing it in a pretty basket on the counter most of the time), return emails and phone calls and then time again to run somewhere else or wait for someone to be picked up. i kept hearing the words you need to cut back, you are doing too much from so many people. but i didn't know how or what to cut back on, what to say "no" too. everything i said yes to was to benefit my family right? school, preschool, part time jobs, extra activities... those are all great things until they have you so exhausted you can't function.
at the end of the day or really the end of the afternoon, i was exhausted and so stressed out. i was so exhausted that my husband and kid's got second best from me. they got a tired, grouchy, unhappy wife and mom who just yelled and snipped and fussed. i was exhausted from being that person, exhausted from giving my family the leftovers. i was stressed because i was always on the go and doing and things weren't getting done at home. i needed a break, a change, a solution.
over the holiday break, i evaluated my daily schedule. a great time to do it because it was quiet around here. we didn't need to go anywhere and i saw my life with a lot of "no's"; no school, no car pool, no waiting in car pool or parking lots, no driving all over the place, no preschool, no working at preschool, no picking up the little boy i care for, no waiting on his parents to pick him up, no spending extra money or running useless errands, no ballet, no basketball, no doctor's appointments, no work for jamil, no small group to lead, no small group to attend, no book study. no. none. a lot of family time and time spent doing things around the house and errands that were a necessity. simple life and settled down.
you may read this and think that is no different from what i do. or you may read this and be dog tired. for me, i realized by looking at all i do in a day, things could be rearranged and cut back. but it would mean i would have to say "NO" to some things.
God helped us in this process by giving us some answers. the biggest decision i made to was to take jordyn out of preschool (gasp... i am sure some of you are doing that right now). taking her out of preschool would mean a lot of time freed up in that crazy mess of a schedule. her preschool is a good 20-25 minute drive from home. (which i did for josh for 2 years and i couldn't make it through one more year.) with it being so far away from home two days a week i was stuck out away from home basically killing time and spending money that i didn't have. the third day of the week, i worked at her preschool basically which paid for her to go there. another day of the week i had to be away from home. and in that crazy schedule i manage to keep an extra child, picking him up from home and preschool as well as taking him to preschool. not to mention taking josh to school every day and picking him up 3 days (praise God for Angie who i car pool with).
all that to say, i made a huge decision that really goes against the grain of what most moms do. i said no to the preschool. i pounded myself with guilt and waivered on my decision several times a day. but i needed to do it for the sake of my sanity and the sake of my family.
i am ready to settle down. i am ready to live a more simple life. i am ready to give my family my firsts. and not my seconds.
it has been quite a journey. it has taken a while to get to this place of desiring a simple life. i am glad to be on my way to living a life that gives my family and friends my best.
1.03.2008
such comfort...
i have such comfort in the fact that God has placed amazing people in my life at just the right times. friendships are such a blessing from Him. being able to connect with other women is so refreshing and so empowering.
today, i took jordyn to ballet. which is one of the highlights of our week. the studio (masterpiece studio) and her teacher (ms. jackie) are awesome. on our way there, not even 5 minutes from home, i realized we left jordyn's tap & ballet shoes at home. so i turned around to get them and when i did we were rushing to get there. and wouldn't you know it, i got behind a school bus, got stuck in school traffic, hit every red light, got stuck waiting for a train and then got behind slow traffic and a tractor trailer on 74. so i rushed her in to class. once i got settled, i sat with the other "dance moms" and we chatted.
but you know, it wasn't just chatter or small talk like you think you would get when taking your daughter to ballet. what i received from those ladies was such a comfort to my heart and soul. God blessed me today by allowing me to spend time with three wonderful ladies who i am so glad i can call my friends. i don't know each of them very well or for a very long amount of time. but i know that God has positioned them in my life for a reason.
we were able to talk very honestly and openly mostly about parenting and being moms. there was such an awesome amount of transparency present in the tiny waiting area crowded with 4 moms and seven children, not taking ballet.
i take comfort in the fact that when God takes something away from us it is for the benefit of us, even though we don't know why. and when he takes something away from us he always replaces it with something even better, even if we don't know when. He has done this for me with my friendships over the past year.
i value the gift of friendship. there is nothing better than being able to be open and real and honest with others who are being the same. God has been blessing me with some amazing women who i am so glad i can call my friends. i praise Him for true frienships that stand the test of time and i praise Him for new friendships that He brings in just the nick of time.
today, i took jordyn to ballet. which is one of the highlights of our week. the studio (masterpiece studio) and her teacher (ms. jackie) are awesome. on our way there, not even 5 minutes from home, i realized we left jordyn's tap & ballet shoes at home. so i turned around to get them and when i did we were rushing to get there. and wouldn't you know it, i got behind a school bus, got stuck in school traffic, hit every red light, got stuck waiting for a train and then got behind slow traffic and a tractor trailer on 74. so i rushed her in to class. once i got settled, i sat with the other "dance moms" and we chatted.
but you know, it wasn't just chatter or small talk like you think you would get when taking your daughter to ballet. what i received from those ladies was such a comfort to my heart and soul. God blessed me today by allowing me to spend time with three wonderful ladies who i am so glad i can call my friends. i don't know each of them very well or for a very long amount of time. but i know that God has positioned them in my life for a reason.
we were able to talk very honestly and openly mostly about parenting and being moms. there was such an awesome amount of transparency present in the tiny waiting area crowded with 4 moms and seven children, not taking ballet.
i take comfort in the fact that when God takes something away from us it is for the benefit of us, even though we don't know why. and when he takes something away from us he always replaces it with something even better, even if we don't know when. He has done this for me with my friendships over the past year.
i value the gift of friendship. there is nothing better than being able to be open and real and honest with others who are being the same. God has been blessing me with some amazing women who i am so glad i can call my friends. i praise Him for true frienships that stand the test of time and i praise Him for new friendships that He brings in just the nick of time.
1.02.2008
serious quiet time...
after lunch today i put the little kids to sleep and put the big one in front of the tv. i was in need of some serious quiet time. at first, i thought i was going to take a nap. our kids have made a hobby of coming into our room several times a night over the last week or so, all for various reasons and at different times, so i thought a nap would be a good idea.
god had other plans for my serious quiet time, not involving sleep or blogging or making a phone call. he got my attention and we had a heart to heart. wow... the power of getting quiet and being still in front of the lord is amazing.
i had my bible, my journal and my ipod. i listened to 2 songs that have been really speaking to me (amazed by jared anderson and a greater song by paul baloche). i was able to really talk and listen to god and he revealed so many things to me in this hour that we had together.
i realized a list of things that i needed to let go of, to set free & to put into his hands. i didn't want to carry the burden of those things any longer and he didn't want me to. he also brought it to my attention that i have been asking him for direction and answers and i haven't been available to listen to what he has been telling me. i thought he went silent, because that does happen, but he didn't i just wasn't listening.
my serious quiet time is something i realized i have been missing over the last few months. i am bringing this experience that i had on the second day of this year with me throughout the rest of this year. it is a necessity that i forgot about. and that can't happen any longer. he is the strength and the answer to what i need to live a life full of joy this year.
so often i overlook and forget about having a quiet time. i pray a lot during the day, but a serious quiet time, where i can reflect and listen i put aside. i become to busy to stop, be still and be amazed by Him. and when i forget i am lost. and my days don't go right and i get nothing done. and all along, i have had the answer right in front of me ~ look to Him! He has the answers, the directions, the strength, the comfort, the companionship and the love i need.
god had other plans for my serious quiet time, not involving sleep or blogging or making a phone call. he got my attention and we had a heart to heart. wow... the power of getting quiet and being still in front of the lord is amazing.
i had my bible, my journal and my ipod. i listened to 2 songs that have been really speaking to me (amazed by jared anderson and a greater song by paul baloche). i was able to really talk and listen to god and he revealed so many things to me in this hour that we had together.
i realized a list of things that i needed to let go of, to set free & to put into his hands. i didn't want to carry the burden of those things any longer and he didn't want me to. he also brought it to my attention that i have been asking him for direction and answers and i haven't been available to listen to what he has been telling me. i thought he went silent, because that does happen, but he didn't i just wasn't listening.
my serious quiet time is something i realized i have been missing over the last few months. i am bringing this experience that i had on the second day of this year with me throughout the rest of this year. it is a necessity that i forgot about. and that can't happen any longer. he is the strength and the answer to what i need to live a life full of joy this year.
so often i overlook and forget about having a quiet time. i pray a lot during the day, but a serious quiet time, where i can reflect and listen i put aside. i become to busy to stop, be still and be amazed by Him. and when i forget i am lost. and my days don't go right and i get nothing done. and all along, i have had the answer right in front of me ~ look to Him! He has the answers, the directions, the strength, the comfort, the companionship and the love i need.
wandering & pondering...
early this morning, jamil went back to work after being off for a week and a half. we had a wonderful time while he was off. our days were spent just hanging out and having some major family time! we did venture out and about a few times, but for the most part we stayed at home. we relaxed a lot! it was much needed time together and resting!!
today, i have found myself deep in thought and wandering around a lot. it seems i can't really get anything done. i am just walking around in circles. i have a lot of thoughts going through my head on what this year is going to look like for our family.
i had high ambitions of accomplishment today, but i do not feel like i am completing much of anything. i think i am just playing catch up today. i have straightened up parts of the house, only to be undone by three little helpers. i have made a few phone calls and replied to several emails. i have made lists of things i want to accomplish this year, like projects and such. i have downloaded a few songs on my new ipod (merry christmas to me - i was a good girl!). i am having a hard time coming off of "vacation mode". it is like my mind wants to get things done, but my body just wants to stay resting.
today, i have found myself deep in thought and wandering around a lot. it seems i can't really get anything done. i am just walking around in circles. i have a lot of thoughts going through my head on what this year is going to look like for our family.
i had high ambitions of accomplishment today, but i do not feel like i am completing much of anything. i think i am just playing catch up today. i have straightened up parts of the house, only to be undone by three little helpers. i have made a few phone calls and replied to several emails. i have made lists of things i want to accomplish this year, like projects and such. i have downloaded a few songs on my new ipod (merry christmas to me - i was a good girl!). i am having a hard time coming off of "vacation mode". it is like my mind wants to get things done, but my body just wants to stay resting.
1.01.2008
enchanted new year...
happy new year to you! was yours an enchanted one?
this morning as i was lounging on the couch -- i received a phone call from my new friend, anita, who was calling to invite jordyn and i to a girl's afternoon out! anita and i just met a few weeks ago, her husband, philip, is elevation's new family life pastor. a wonderful family!
so, after approving it with the wonderful hubby (who held down the fort and even cooked the pork roast while i was gone) we made plans to take our girls (anita's oldest daughter - savannah grace) to see enchanted! we had such a great time. our girls are close in age and are definitely a match for each other - they have similar personalities and give each other a run for their money.
the movie is awesome!! it is very family (mother-daughter) friendly. it is very cute and funny. and it has mcdreamy(patrick dempsey) in it!!! being a princess wanna be - i loved it!! so did anita... oh and the little girls did too!!! it is a must see if you have little girls!! we ran into my friend, susan and her girls, they had the same idea for a girls day out!
anita brought her camera and took a few pics, click here and you can view her blog and see our pics!
this morning as i was lounging on the couch -- i received a phone call from my new friend, anita, who was calling to invite jordyn and i to a girl's afternoon out! anita and i just met a few weeks ago, her husband, philip, is elevation's new family life pastor. a wonderful family!
so, after approving it with the wonderful hubby (who held down the fort and even cooked the pork roast while i was gone) we made plans to take our girls (anita's oldest daughter - savannah grace) to see enchanted! we had such a great time. our girls are close in age and are definitely a match for each other - they have similar personalities and give each other a run for their money.
the movie is awesome!! it is very family (mother-daughter) friendly. it is very cute and funny. and it has mcdreamy(patrick dempsey) in it!!! being a princess wanna be - i loved it!! so did anita... oh and the little girls did too!!! it is a must see if you have little girls!! we ran into my friend, susan and her girls, they had the same idea for a girls day out!
anita brought her camera and took a few pics, click here and you can view her blog and see our pics!
12.31.2007
last post for 2007...
i am ready to say good bye to this year. i have been busy un-decorating from christmas and trying to get things back in place today. i have organized our calendar for the first month of this new year. i have organized a few things here and there (not due to any stress this time) and moved some furniture around. eventually, i will reveal a new blog look for the new year!! oh, and jamil has been helping out doing his list of things as well.
i have this notion that to enter this new year, everything needs to be in place and ready to go. type A personality to say the least. it isn't like if it isn't done we won't be blessed with a new year. i am just eagerly anticipating this new beginning and feel like i need to be "doing". today, i physically moved things around to get ready.
over the last two weeks or so, i have mentally, emotionally and spiritually moved things around. i have done a lot of thinking and praying. jamil and i have done a lot of thinking, praying and planning together. we have made some major decisions as we move into 2008. we have made decisions that will indeed move us past the road blocks of this last year and into a year of great things. we know 2008 is going to be great!!!
last night our prayer and worship service at elevation was awesome. awesome doesn't even describe it. for me, it was such a time of restoration and gave me so much encouragement and so much hope as we move into this new year. elevation is such a big part of our lives and to be there last night just gave such an incredible and positive ending to 2007.
so, that is it... my last post for this year. my next one will be dated 2008!
i have this notion that to enter this new year, everything needs to be in place and ready to go. type A personality to say the least. it isn't like if it isn't done we won't be blessed with a new year. i am just eagerly anticipating this new beginning and feel like i need to be "doing". today, i physically moved things around to get ready.
over the last two weeks or so, i have mentally, emotionally and spiritually moved things around. i have done a lot of thinking and praying. jamil and i have done a lot of thinking, praying and planning together. we have made some major decisions as we move into 2008. we have made decisions that will indeed move us past the road blocks of this last year and into a year of great things. we know 2008 is going to be great!!!
last night our prayer and worship service at elevation was awesome. awesome doesn't even describe it. for me, it was such a time of restoration and gave me so much encouragement and so much hope as we move into this new year. elevation is such a big part of our lives and to be there last night just gave such an incredible and positive ending to 2007.
so, that is it... my last post for this year. my next one will be dated 2008!
12.25.2007
christmas letter 2007...
This year has brought us a lot of change and transition to our family. We have experienced a great sense of loss this year in a few different ways. But we have also received a wonderful abundance of blessings!
Jamil and I each lost a grandmother, just a few months apart. That was pretty hard for both of us. And during this time God also led us away from our church home of over six years. Most of you know that Jamil was on staff at church and God called us away. He made it evidently clear that we were to step down from paid and volunteer positions and find a new church home. It was hard to say the least. We spent a lot of time in shock and disbelief at the turn of events.
God did not leave us during this time. He provided us with a church home immediately. We are now excited and sold out members of
Jamil is also serving in a wonderful capacity that uses his gifts to the extreme!! He is serving as one of our Pastor’s armor bearers. Jamil is able to serve Pastor Furtick by encouraging, praying and protecting him on Sunday mornings. Jamil is by his side and assisting him in whatever way he needs. I can say Jamil is greatly appreciated! As you can imagine leaving the Youth Group from our old church was especially heartbreaking for Jamil. But God has really healed those wounds. We have been able to keep in touch with a majority of our kids on a regular basis. Jamil made such an impact on their lives, that it just wasn’t possible for him to just walk away. Jamil continues to work at his full time job at AXA/Equitable as the Asst. Facilities Manager. God has been faithful in providing for our family, even with the loss of the income from his staff position. Jamil works a lot of side jobs here and there to help make ends meet! He stays busy!! He is coaching Josh’s basketball team this season for Upward.
Joshua turned seven in October. He started first grade this year at a charter school,
Jordyn turned four in July. She is still taking ballet and tap at a new studio and LOVES it. She started preschool this year and is doing great. Although some days she would rather be with mommy – still a mommy’s girl. Jordyn continues to be our princess! She has grown up so much over the past few months. Not only is she gorgeous she is very smart too. She loves to dance, sing and play dress up!!!
Jesiah turned two in March. He is still our sweet boy. He makes us laugh and smile. He talks all of the time. Jesiah loves to do whatever the other two are doing. He loves anything Disney Cars or Buzz Lightyear. Jesiah is very bright and extremely active. He is always on the go.
As for me, taking care of our three little blessings keeps me on the go. I also take care of our friend’s three year old little boy, three days a week. So, being a mommy is still my full time job right now.
I was accepted into the
We received this phrase in a beautiful card this week that I am going to use to close out our annual letter:
“May you experience Jesus Christ, who fills every void and can heal any heart. He is our miracle worker. To Him be all glory, honor and praise! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!”
The Massey Family
12.24.2007
decision drama...
here is the update with jaci. yesterday after church (which was the most awesome service ever - more to come!) i received a voicemail from the guy who adopted jaci from us. our dog was reminding him too much of their other dog who was put to sleep in may. he was having second thoughts on keeping her. i must say i was sooooo sad and anxious about what to do next. then i remembered my "second choice" family.
i spoke to a really nice lady on saturday before the other family came. i really liked her and felt an instant connection. she is a kindergarten teacher with two little boys. her and her husband are going through a separation and she is looking for a puppy to complete their family. i let her know saturday night that jaci had been adopted but if something didn't work out i would call her.
so i did, yesterday afternoon. she was in asheville visiting family and when i called she was telling them about our puppy. little did she know that i would call to tell her she could adopt her. so she drove home early to meet jaci at the other families house. we were in contact most of the day. and then she called me last night to tell me that she had jaci with her and they were doing great!!! and she just emailed to say they are having a good day as well. jaci loves their two cats!!!
this is the best part... her boys (ages 7 & 8) were returning home today from being with their dad and she would surprise them with their new addition, in a big christmas bow if i might add!!! i can only imagine seeing our sweet puppy make another family so happy.
i know now that jaci is where she is meant to be. and that being able to bless another family makes me very happy!
although, it is still pretty hard on me. everything reminds me of her. i didn't think i would be so sad. and the kids have been missing her. jordyn reminded us that God helps us to do hard things (she has that one down thanks to E-Kidz!) she also told jesiah today that jaci wasn't with us, and jesiah said yeah she is at home, he hasn't even noticed jaci was gone. josh is taking it the hardest, but prayed for jaci and for our decision to get easier.
i spoke to a really nice lady on saturday before the other family came. i really liked her and felt an instant connection. she is a kindergarten teacher with two little boys. her and her husband are going through a separation and she is looking for a puppy to complete their family. i let her know saturday night that jaci had been adopted but if something didn't work out i would call her.
so i did, yesterday afternoon. she was in asheville visiting family and when i called she was telling them about our puppy. little did she know that i would call to tell her she could adopt her. so she drove home early to meet jaci at the other families house. we were in contact most of the day. and then she called me last night to tell me that she had jaci with her and they were doing great!!! and she just emailed to say they are having a good day as well. jaci loves their two cats!!!
this is the best part... her boys (ages 7 & 8) were returning home today from being with their dad and she would surprise them with their new addition, in a big christmas bow if i might add!!! i can only imagine seeing our sweet puppy make another family so happy.
i know now that jaci is where she is meant to be. and that being able to bless another family makes me very happy!
although, it is still pretty hard on me. everything reminds me of her. i didn't think i would be so sad. and the kids have been missing her. jordyn reminded us that God helps us to do hard things (she has that one down thanks to E-Kidz!) she also told jesiah today that jaci wasn't with us, and jesiah said yeah she is at home, he hasn't even noticed jaci was gone. josh is taking it the hardest, but prayed for jaci and for our decision to get easier.
12.22.2007
decision update...
just wanted to let you know that the family who came to meet jaci, left with jaci. it was a hard decision for them, which made it harder for me because i had prepared to say good bye to her. and when we thought that they may not take her, i was panicked. but God answered my prayers.
they had a hard time because jaci looked so much like their dog who had to be put to sleep in may, her name was casey (- how bout that for coincidence. also, casey's birthday was on christmas day and they took jaci home for a christmas present) anyway, they were not sure that having a dog who looked so much like the one they lost would be good for them. but they fell in love with jaci and after being here for about 2 hours, they did take her home. i feel soooo good about the decision and i know she is with the right family. it still was hard.
it wasn't easy to say good bye to her. and little things around the house remind me of her and i get a little sad. putting her in their van with them was one of the hardest things i have ever done. she looked at me and i just cried. i do miss her. but i know this is for the best. i know she will be loved and a part of a great family!
God's hands have been all over this. i have been sad today, my heart a little broken. the kids are doing pretty good. they were upset for a few minutes. and when we talked about it today, jordyn reminded josh that God helps us to do hard things. and she is so right again. when God asks us to do something, the right something, it isn't always easy, most of the time it is hard but it is for the best - His best. so, i digress... (God, I have gotten this down, can't we move on to the next lesson, I am emotionally exhausted from loss and pain and crying - it has been a long year, although you have provided in so many ways. i will take what you give me and do it without a complaint!)
doing an early christmas with my parent's tonight took their minds off of her being gone. and mine too. the presents stacked up helped with their loss. and the check they gave us to buy our present helped me too. i am sure that it will get easier as the days go on, but tonight as i right this there are still a few tears left in me. i am looking forward to tomorrow and being in church!!!
they had a hard time because jaci looked so much like their dog who had to be put to sleep in may, her name was casey (- how bout that for coincidence. also, casey's birthday was on christmas day and they took jaci home for a christmas present) anyway, they were not sure that having a dog who looked so much like the one they lost would be good for them. but they fell in love with jaci and after being here for about 2 hours, they did take her home. i feel soooo good about the decision and i know she is with the right family. it still was hard.
it wasn't easy to say good bye to her. and little things around the house remind me of her and i get a little sad. putting her in their van with them was one of the hardest things i have ever done. she looked at me and i just cried. i do miss her. but i know this is for the best. i know she will be loved and a part of a great family!
God's hands have been all over this. i have been sad today, my heart a little broken. the kids are doing pretty good. they were upset for a few minutes. and when we talked about it today, jordyn reminded josh that God helps us to do hard things. and she is so right again. when God asks us to do something, the right something, it isn't always easy, most of the time it is hard but it is for the best - His best. so, i digress... (God, I have gotten this down, can't we move on to the next lesson, I am emotionally exhausted from loss and pain and crying - it has been a long year, although you have provided in so many ways. i will take what you give me and do it without a complaint!)
doing an early christmas with my parent's tonight took their minds off of her being gone. and mine too. the presents stacked up helped with their loss. and the check they gave us to buy our present helped me too. i am sure that it will get easier as the days go on, but tonight as i right this there are still a few tears left in me. i am looking forward to tomorrow and being in church!!!
decision revisited...
well, after posting the last post on a hard decision. i really didn't think i could find a new home for jaci. jamil and i even talked and decided to keep her awhile longer. so yesterday i went about my business and thought we were going to keep her. then yesterday afternoon i had a prompting, which i think and feel it was from God. and he spoke to my heart (yeah - see he is in the big and the small things like a pet!) and made me think if i really wanted to keep her and if i did, why?
she is a great puppy. she is soooo cute and soooo sweet. but i just don't see her as part of the family like a lot of other dog owners do. to me it looks great to have a puppy to complete the family, but in reality, i am just not feeling it. if that makes any sense. maybe it is God working on my heart again.
as i played with her and tried to enjoy having a puppy yesterday, i kept thinking about the replies i received from craig's list. there was one family that really stuck out to me, i loved what he had to say in the email so i decided to give him a call. and when i did i felt complete peace.... i feel like he and his family are to adopt jaci. there are so many little things that i saw as signs from God that kept sticking out. which i will speak to later.
so today, we will meet with the family and let them meet jaci. and if all feels right, they will adopt jaci. it will be a bit emotional to have to say goodbye AGAIN -- (loss is wearing me out this year, we have had way too much) -- but i know it is the right thing. and i know the right thing isn't always easy.
i will share the details of our phone conversation and our meeting in another post.
so please pray for our family today as we go through this transition. it is hard to say the least.
she is a great puppy. she is soooo cute and soooo sweet. but i just don't see her as part of the family like a lot of other dog owners do. to me it looks great to have a puppy to complete the family, but in reality, i am just not feeling it. if that makes any sense. maybe it is God working on my heart again.
as i played with her and tried to enjoy having a puppy yesterday, i kept thinking about the replies i received from craig's list. there was one family that really stuck out to me, i loved what he had to say in the email so i decided to give him a call. and when i did i felt complete peace.... i feel like he and his family are to adopt jaci. there are so many little things that i saw as signs from God that kept sticking out. which i will speak to later.
so today, we will meet with the family and let them meet jaci. and if all feels right, they will adopt jaci. it will be a bit emotional to have to say goodbye AGAIN -- (loss is wearing me out this year, we have had way too much) -- but i know it is the right thing. and i know the right thing isn't always easy.
i will share the details of our phone conversation and our meeting in another post.
so please pray for our family today as we go through this transition. it is hard to say the least.
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