keeping busy...

we have been thoroughly enjoying this weather!!! it is so wonderful and refreshing to have the sun shining and feels perfectly warm! yesterday, i took the kid's to the park. we met some good friends of ours and amy brought will, she had lunch plans so he hung out with us there! the kid's had a great time and played really hard. i was able to enjoy the company and conversation with my friend's trevor and tracy and their sweet baby girl saya!! after trevor and tracy left, i let the kid's play in the "sanbox" (aka: sand volleyball pit) while we waited for amy to return. one of my friend's, heidi, was there coincidentally, with her kids and her parents. she has a son close to josh's age. so trent and josh went off with trent's grandfather to fly a kite!! joshua was so excited to fly a kite and then they played in the woods, breaking sticks and doing "boy stuff". the other kiddos played contently in the sand. and i got to enjoy some great conversation with heidi and amy!! finally it was time to head home - i must say anytime we go somewhere - going home is the hardest part - no one ever wants to leave and it is so difficult. everyone is going all different directions. as soon as i get two to follow the third turns around and heads a different way. and just to think - we will be adding a fourth to the mix -- wow!!!

today, chelsea and i met at five guys (craving hamburgers!!) and ate outside with the kids. it was a great lunch. the kid's were enjoying themselves!! chelsea and i made the observation as we were trying to steer five kids out the front door so we could head to our vans, that soon, when we are together, we will be adding two more to the mix - wow, seven kids between the two of us!! we might as well open a preschool!!! once we got them to the van, we headed to the movies - to see alvin and the chipmunks!!! it was a really cute movie - the kid's loved it!!

tonight, i plan for us to just take it easy and hang out at home! tomorrow night, i will get to see my friend stephanie, who is flying in from georgia for a long weekend! we are going to grab some dinner with another friend and then she is going to sleep over at our house so she can come to church with us in the morning!!!

latley, my posts just seem to be journal entries of what each of our days look like. i haven't been too deep or too funny. just sort of floating along - perhaps this baby is sucking my brains out!!!

oh, the prescription meds i have been taking for the "morning sickness" have been making me feel a lot better. now i just need a prescription for the exhaustion -- any suggestions on curing that one? i am trying to convince jamil that a vacation is what my midwife prescribed - he isn't going for it -- yet!!!!

over the last few days...

meet baby j #4...

on monday, i had my 10 week check up with my midwife. at my last appointment she reminded me that we would be able to hear the baby's heartbeat so to bring whoever i wanted to with me. so, my sister, my mom, jordyn , jesiah and i went to my appointment. jamil had a crazy way busy day at work and couldn't get away. as with all three of my other pregnancies, we were not able to hear the heartbeat so my midwife did an ultrasound where we could see the baby's heart beating away!! and we got a few great shots of the little peanut. jordyn and jesiah thought it was so neat to see the baby. they were excited. of course i was thrilled to see the baby. at this point the baby is only about an inch long. you can see it's head and body and little teeny arms and legs. how amazing. everytime i think about that little tiny baby inside of me growing and moving it just amazes me and i know that this life has been created by our Creator - God is so good and I feel so humbled to be witnessing another one of his miracles!

happy easter 2008!!!!!

sunday was a great day! jamil started the day off early at elevation. and the kids and i had a relaxing morning before headin to church ourselves. they were all dressed up and looked so cute!! of course, getting a picture to turn out with all three of them is so hard. i can't imagine what it will be like with four!! church was awesome!!!! this was our first easter at elevation and it was nothing at all what you would expect! of course, it was done elevation style - it was amazing! pastor delivered a powerful message! we had 4800 in attendance between our 6 service times! and over 500, yes you read it right 500 people accepted Christ as their Savior!!

after church we ate lunch at jamil's mom's house and the kid's had an easter egg hunt with their cousins!!! and then we went to my mom and dad's house for another egg hunt and dinner. it was a really fun day!! my sister julie was there to share in the fun. it was awesome to have her there!!


on saturday, my dad took jamil and josh to see the harlem globetrotter's at bobcat's arena - -they had a great time. while they did that jesiah, jordyn and i introduced julie to mcallister's !! we had a great lunch and ran a few errands with her.


late friday night, my sister, julie came into town from pittsburgh,pa. she brought a car load of stuff to begin her move. she will be moving down here with us in april!!! we are so excited that she will be here with us. the kids love their aunt julie! i feel so blessed to have my parents and now my sister living so close!!

we have had an eventful few days. last night, i had a yummy dinner with one of my best friends, chelsea. we ate at red robin - it was my first time. it was really good and such great company too!!!

while i was out, jamil and my dad spent the evening fixing or trying to fix our well. we didn't have any water yesterday and they were looking into the problem. we were able to have a temporary solution until they can fix it later today. the kid's were up late watching movies while i was gone and jamil was outside. they did a great job, they were awake when i got home, but the house was still standing!!! they were up late so today we are taking it easy!!!

josh is on spring break this week and we have some fun things planned to do over the next couple of days while he is off of school. we may venture to the park, catch a movie and right the light rail downtown!!!

so that is what has been going on with our family over the last few days!!!

tagged: i'm it...

my friend, kelly, tagged me to do this fun little post... where i tell 7 random things about myself. i am lacking for an exciting post topic today. so when she tagged me, i am following suit and going to participate. i would much rather tell 7 things about kelly than about myself, but that wouldn't be following the directions. so before i list my random things, i am going to give kelly a shout out!!! i just love my friend kelly!! i met kelly on one of our first sunday morning at elevation. and honestly, her and her husband, larry are one of the reasons that helped us to feel that God was calling us to elevation. both of them made us feel so welcome and immediately took us under their wings and showed us such love and hospitality. they had us over for dinner and our families started a great friendship! we love their beautiful girls, who get along with our three kiddos!! and one day josh and riley (their oldest) may even be allowed to date - when they are like in their thirties or so!!!! kelly is a great friend, a supportive wife and such a loving mommy! i am so glad that God put kelly in my life! her friendship means the world to me! thanks kel, for being you!!!! love you!!!

here are the 7 random things about me:

1. i have a very type a personality. i have a constant need for order and organization. although, my house doesn't reflect that right now, it is tearing me up that i have had to let go of the control over how much gets down around here.

2. i really, really do not like to throw up/vomit. i have a phobia about that. i just don't like doing it at all. thankfully, i haven't ever had a stomach bug that requires this of me since i was a child. i do remember getting sick in the hallway of school as a child, perhaps the embarrassment of that has put the fear in me. as a crazy college student, i did it very very little. and as a mommy prego for the fourth time - in the first trimester - i will sick as a dog and queasy and gagging and all of that but it will take a lot for me to throw up!!! i have done it a very few times during my pregnancies. (random and gross - sorry)

3. i am like kelly, i really do not like to wear socks (i am going to have to try those footie things!) and i (most) always have my toenails painted. i love wearing flip flops and sandals!!!! as soon as it just begins to get a little warm, i am in my open toed shoes with painted toes!!! it will take a lot for me to put back on regular shoes when it gets cold again.

4. i love being pregnant and love, love babies!!!! ( i must say that this first trimester has made me think twice this go around!) i have been blessed with three very easy pregnancies and three healthy babies!!. i love hearing the heartbeat when i am pregnant (next appt. on 3/24 we should be able to hear her(him)!), i love seeing the baby on the u/s, i love feeling them move and kick and turn. i love the excitement (minus the pain of all 3 natural births) of the labor and delivery and being in the hospital is like a mini retreat to me!! and i love holding new little babies - love them. it has been so long since i have held a new baby of my own!!!

5. i am recently addicted to "lost". i started watching the previous seasons online in the beginning of january. i am finally into the third season!! i look forward to being in the fourth season and caught up!

6. i really like warm weather and being in the sunshine. i love the beach!! and i love being tan! i struggle in the summer, b/c i know that getting too much sun isn't great, so i try to take it slow and i do wear sunscreen!!!

7. i like driving a minivan! i have a silver honda odyssey. i have had it less than a year. although, i have been driving a minivan for seven years. this honda odyssey is by far my favorite!!!!! i hate when it gets messy and dirty. i vacuumed and cleaned it up a little today and it makes me feel so much better!!

tag - you're it...

1. amy
2. chelsea
3. teri
4. patti
5. marybeth
6. jenny
7. kate

shoe shopping...

over the last several days, i have been feeling a little bit better. not great, but better. maybe, i am just used to being sick and have gotten a high tolerance for it or maybe it has let up some. who knows, but i am grateful to feel a little bit normal in little bits during the day. instead of being sick all day long. i am sick in waves throughout the day.

so with that brings the challenge of getting done what needs to be done when i feel good. so i have to take advantage of the times i feel good and go for the gold. and when i don't feel good, i just kind of veg out.

i am faced with a pretty big to do list this week. but it feels good to have pretty much completed the kids' spring clothes and shoes shopping (praise God for the generous tax return to help with this task!!!).

jamil and i took the kids to concord mills mall on saturday - each kiddo needed at least a pair of shoes, ideally 2 pairs. we were thinking we would drive up their get some shoes for cheap!!! but the mall was crazy ridiculously crowded and the kid's were a little unruly. so shopping for 6 pairs of shoes was quickly reduced to 3 pairs - so when you see my kids on Easter Sunday with sneakers on with their Sunday best - know we did our best! and then we only walked away with shoes for the boys.

this morning we headed out to get jordyn's shoes - i can only buy her shoes at one place i have found in charlotte. i realize that and am committing to memory right now!!! the last 2 or 3 times she has needed shoes, i have driven myself crazy going to all different places, looking for deals only to find she doesn't fit into any of those shoes. i have tried target, stride rite, department stores, skechers, etc. i am vowing from here on out not to even try those places to buy her a good fitting pair of shoes. we will not venture anywhere else but to the shoe in (in stonecrest). jordyn has a very, very narrow tiny foot. it is long, but teeny tiny. we started out with a really nice gal helping us, my kids were not in the best of mood and neither was i. the sales lady tried but was not getting any shoes to fit her right. then the man, who i think is the owner walked by and recognized jordyn (or her teeny foot) and he helped us out!!! we were able to get a really really cute pair of shoes .the man who works there (i must get his name next time) knows jordyn's foot and which shoes work best. usually those are the most pricey ones. but what am i to do??? she has shoes and i can cross shoe shopping off of my list for now!!!

loud and crazy day...

today, we met our friends amy and will at mcallister's for lunch and then we went to target. from the second we got together our kids (my two, her one) were so loud and so crazy! i think they have spring fever!! i know for myself personally, i love this weather, it feels so good to be outside and feels so good to be out and about. those nasty winter blahs are over -- yahoo!!

i think the kid's were feeling that way too. but i must say if i were not a mom and i were in target and would have seen our children's crazy behavior, i would have shaken my head and said something to myself about how loud they were. the three of them were sooooo loud and so wild. we had two shopping carts and they played musical carts the whole entire trip. with three kids, there is always the odd man out and none of them could get settled. they wanted everything they saw. they were swinging off the handlebars of the carts -- i am telling you it was a crazy trip. fun for them crazy for the moms! jesiah lost a toy car from the cars movie that was will's. and to top it off, i forgot to use the coupon i had for $10 off. oh well, the day is done and now i am going to try to enjoy a few minutes of silence while jesiah is napping and the older two are watching tv.

tonight, we are going out to dinner to celebrate jamil's birthday - which is on sunday! and amy is the dearest friend b/c after our loud and crazy day, she and ken are babysitting all three of our kids -- i hope she had some quiet time and rest this afternoon - in preparation for the loudness that may be coming to her house is just a few short hours!!!!

survival mode...

my throat hurts. i have raised my voice way too much this afternoon. my three kids have been on their worst behavior. they have been arguing and yelling at each other. they have been way too near me. i just want to run far away from the noise. i ask myself, why can't they just play together nicely, quietly, why??? i keep thinking if i was engaging them in some kind of activity or would have taken them outside to play this afternoon would have been much better. i begin to beat myself up - because i am not being the kind of mom i "could or should be", but never seem to be. i begin to think if only i did this better, if only i had a better strategy when it comes to this or if i was more planned this would be better... i think of all the things i am not doing and feel like i am unsuccessful, feel like a failure. i find myself frustrated and overwhelmed with everything that is not getting done. yet i haven't any energy to do it. none.

because afternoons and evenings are starting to become the hardest parts of the day for me, i find myself wanting to escape from my life as it is right now. escape from their bickering and loud noises. escape from that new transformer toy won't stop talking. i want to go somewhere quiet and just be by myself. i just want to do what i want to do - which is not tackle the huge pile of laundry, it is not to think about dinner, or even get my oldest son to start his homework.
i want to do what would be pleasing to me that would offer me some rest and relaxation. i dream of being able to be in a quiet room on a big cozy, comfy bed with the ocean outside and the sun shining. i am all alone, reading, writing, thinking, praying and sleeping!

i realize that this is just a far away dream as i snap back into reality -- i hear crying, unkind words and another noisy toy. i realize that this right here is my life, there is no dream vacation where i am alone and relaxing. there isn't a life of doing what i want to do. instead i am in survival mode. trying to get through the long afternoon of feeling discouraged, overwhelmed and unsuccessful.

rainy day = naptime ...

after catching up on the many blogs i visit, i started to write a post of my own on a few random things going on around here. hearing the rain fall and having a quiet house is making me think that i will have to save my writing for later and take advantage of a nap!

happy birthday little buddy....

today is jesiah's third birthday! it is so hard to believe that he is 3!!! looking at these pictures (no, they are not in a scrapbook - yet!) makes me feel like it was just yesterday he was born. but it has been three years.

here he is just a very few hours old...

here he is on the day we brought him home....

and here he is now...

jesiah is our sweet natured laid back little guy. he has a variety of nicknames (little bud, 'siah, jesiah bennett, stinky, bunky, silly boy, wild child, just to name a few) and he answers to all of them. he is a mover and a climber. he loves to be busy. jesiah plays really well all by himself. he can entertain himself for quite some time. he loves being the baby of the family (atleast for a few more months) and yet he is quite excited about being a big brother. he is a very sweet and kind little guy. he is a mommy's boy at heart, but loves to be with his daddy too. jesiah has been such a blessing to our family. he has always been easy going and easy to please.

it has been amazing to watch him transform into a big boy!!! he takes life in stride! he loves buzz lightyear, cars, superheros and as of lately he loves pirates. he plays pretend very well - jesiah loves to play dress up. he loves to be outside and he looks up to his big brother. he has been a great playmate for jordyn. they are often mistaken for twins! he loves his big sister too!

happy birthday jesiah - we love you!!!

out and about....

today, i have been very aware of my eating habits - basically making sure that i have something in my stomach at all times. i have been trying to balance the food and liquid thing. not too much or to close together. i have eaten a lot, like a baby, every 2 hours or so. it has seemed to help. we were out and about today - doing some shopping and then meeting some friends for lunch - i think getting out of the house today really helped too. getting my mind off of not feeling so great was a good thing. tonight we are going to the bobcats game - i really hope that i will continue to feel ok. i wouldn't want to be sick there - i want to enjoy our time away!!

last night, after talking to my friend patti - i had jamil stop and get me some coke. i haven't had any caffeine (seriously none! cold turkey) since i found out i was pregnant. but a coke sounded so good yesterday. patti encouraged me to do what i need to do to survive this stage and if one coke was going to make me feel better - then go for it. i agreed and that coke made a world of difference last night. i may have to switch to the caffeine free kind b/c i don't want to go against my one a day rule.

my husband was a true hero last night bringing home not only the coke, but dinner and a late night snack too (sushi - not the raw fish kind!!) for me! he is a great man!!! he really pampered me!! i have been pretty whiny and really tired. not a lot of fun lately. he has put up with my mood swings and crazy cravings - i know we have blown our food budget out of the water this month. he has been such a good sport and very supportive. he has been understanding and encouraging. i am so glad God blessed me with him!!!

a little relief?

i haven't been much of a blogger lately - actually, i haven't been doing much of anything lately. my main goal each day is to survive this sickness. basically, i am sick morning, noon and night and it hasn't let up at all. it is constant - i pretty much only feel "good" for about 20 minutes after i eat and feel really full. and then once the food settles - i am sick again. i don't actually throw up - i am just super queasy, and gag really easy. also, i am struggling with finding food that i can eat and want to eat. it is very frustrating to say the least. i just can't make myself eat anything - whatever pops into my mind (& tastebuds) is what i need to eat. i really really try to eat something from home - but that doesn't always work. being sick like this takes a lot out of me, i have very little energy or ambition to do anything. i just feel yucky all of the time. i have to remind myself that this is a blessing - to be pregnant that is and that i just have to deal with it. so that is what i am doing each day, dealing with it and trying to get a little relief.

it's here...

today i have had a lot less energy and i have been extremely emotional. and then around mid-morning i just had this yucky feeling, and it was all to familiar once i realized what it was. ahhh, yes, "morning sickness", although for me and all of my pregnancies i don't experience it in the morning - i get it anytime of the day and sometimes all day long. if you haven't had this feeling before - it is yucky. you just feel motion sick, queasy, unsettled and gag really easy.

as it got close to lunch time, i thought about what i would eat. i decided on a chili dog, as soon as the smell of the chili and the hot dog came flowing out of the microwave and i got one scent of it - i was done with the chili dog -- could not eat it at all. the thought of it gagged me, the smell of it gagged me - yuckkooo!

that is one of the hardest parts for me having "morning sickness" is being hungry but not being able to eat what is in the house. i settled for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. although, i am having a SERIOUS craving for some japenese food!!

bye bye blogroll....

every once in awhile i get in the mood to add and change my blog - don't we all. well as i was looking it over, i realized that my blogroll was insanely long and that there were several friends that i had not added. it is so exciting that so many people are getting into blogging!!! if i would continue to add all of my friends and others i know with blogs my blogroll would literally take over the page. so instead of picking and choosing who is on the blogroll - i decided to just not deal with a blogroll. my blog isn't suppose to cause me stress so bye bye blogroll!

i just wanted to let you all know that to keep it simple i am not having a blogroll but i am still
reading your blogs!!!!

cleaning vs. napping...

as i was getting ready to go to my midwife appointment this morning, i began to take notice of the disastrous state that my house is in. it is a serious mess! it is unorganized, cluttered and not very clean. taking notice to all of this, i was really in the mood to "spring clean" this morning. i had made a mental list of all the things i was going to attempt to clean and organize this afternoon, including my van.

after getting home from a rather long appointment - i was not in the mood, nor did i have an ounce of energy left. so instead of hitting my projects - i hit the pillow and took a nap. and i didn't feel guilty at all. this cold and this pregnancy has really taken a lot out of me and i just couldn't bring myself to do anything but sleep. i don't know when my house will get cleaned.

on another note, my midwife's appointment went really well. i had jesiah with me and we had to wait a little longer than usual, so at times it was hard to entertain a three year old in a doctor's office. i vowed next time to go by myself! but as far as the pregnancy part - so far so good. i am about 6 weeks and 3 days! i will go back in 4 weeks and we should be able to hear the baby's heartbeat by then. everyone was excited to see us and know we were there for baby #4 and they couldn't believe jesiah was the "baby" and he was getting so big!

so this afternoon, i am just trying to get some energy to get off of the couch and attempt to do something productive. we have momtourage tonight - which i am looking forward to. i could use a night out with friends! i just hope i have the energy to get myself there!!!

numerous blessings...

a baby is always a blessing! always. i have begun to see already what this new baby is going to add to our family. last saturday, i called my sister, who lives in pittsburgh, to tell her our news. she was so excited, she was near tears. we hadn't told our parents so i told her to keep a secret for awhile.

on monday night, we went to my parents' house to tell them the big news. after we told them, my sister called, not knowing we were there. she told my mom she was ready to move to north carolina with us!!! yahooooo! this is an answered prayer of ours.

about a year and a half ago my sister who just turned 30, went through some really hard changes in her life. these changes brought her from montana to pittsburgh. when this happened, we began praying for her to mover here, but she chose pittsburgh. she has lived there since then. and now she is ready to come "home".

when she was on the phone with my mom, she told her that part of her decision was made because i was pregnant and she wanted to be near us during this time. she missed us, the kids and wanted to be a part of this baby's new life.

i know God is using this baby in a mighty way - and she (he) is not even 6 weeks old (in utero)!!! wow!! won't she love to hear this story when she gets older!!

here is a picture of my sister, (she's in the middle), jordyn and me!

soon you will be seeing her around town and prayerfully at elevation too!!!!!!

an answer...

so with this new baby on the way, i am hearing and seeing God's direction for my life. i had been feeling very unsettled for quite some time and not sure what i was suppose to be doing with my life. with my kids getting older, i thought through the possibility of going back to work this fall. i felt like that may be what God was requiring of me. i thought if i worked full time, it would really help us chip away at the amount of debt we have obtained. our "sun stand still" prayer is to be debt-free. jamil and i have stuck hard to this prayer and know God is going to provide, just not sure how.

when i found out baby #4 is on her (his) way. i knew God was not asking me to go back to work full time. i know that He plans for me to stay home and raise our children. i feel like God has given back to me "my purpose," i feel like i know that i can become settled at being a stay at home mom. i don't have to worry about what am i going to do or what does He want me to do. He has given me His answer!

with knowing my purpose and what He is calling me to do and where He is calling me to be in this stage of life, i need to make a few changes. i have really been living in the future waiting for this change of my life to happen and figure out what my purpose was to be - i kept looking ahead and not living in the moment. this is my first change - i am going to start enjoying and really embracing each day and not worrying about what the future holds. God has given me my answer. He wants me right here where i have always been. now it is time for my heart to be there too.

when mom is sick...

yesterday, i started feeling sick again ~ flu like symptoms ~ not pregnancy ones (yet). about mid-morning yesterday, i felt like i was hit by a truck. i was coughing, weak, tired, had chills, aches and a fever. so i planted myself on the couch, gave the little kiddos a very simple lunch, which i barely had to prepare - i opened some yogurt and a granola bar for them. i put a movie on for them and they were so good. they watched movies and ate popcorn. i was a mess. i had a list of stuff i had planned to do yesterday and ALL of it i had to put on hold. and i did nothing but rest.

jamil came to my rescue, he picked josh up from school for me and then he took care of the kids and the house for the majority of the evening. he cooked dinner for them and cleaned up the kitchen. he had to leave for josh's basketball practice, since he is the coach - i thought i could make it through without him for an hour and a half. as he was leaving, it was probably the worse i had felt all day. after he left, i called my mom in tears. i was feeling so bad and something about calling your mom just makes it better. she offered to help me out, thankfully she lives close enough to do so now. but i just needed to cry about how bad i felt.

it is soooo hard to be sick when you are a mom and a wife. there are so many things that we do during a day and when we are down and out, it seems like the house is going to fall apart. i kept thinking about all the things i should be doing while i was resting. i worried if jamil would remember to pack josh's lunch and if he did would it be healthy? then i worried about the homework he needed to finish, and the pile of laundry waiting to be folded, and the dishwasher that needed to be emptied and reloaded. my mind worried the entire time i rested. my house seemed to be in chaos and i couldn't do anything to fix it. i knew if i pushed it, it would not be good for me or for the little teeny baby in my belly. so i tried to forget about all that had to be done and tried to rest and relax and sleep on and off.

getting sick is like a temptation for a control freak like me. i do not like to give up control of the things i do. i like help, but i don't like to feel helpless. and for a type a personality, resting is not ever on my agenda. so getting sick and having to rest is not something i know how to do very well.

last night, jamil decided to take the day off to help me out today (isn't he the best!!!) i was actually feeling somewhat better this morning and told him he could go onto work, but he said he would stay in case i started feeling worse. and f he stayed home today, i could completely rest and be better on thursday - and he could be back at work tomorrow. then, we decided to skip on our small group tonight and will probably cancel our high school group tomorrow night to ensure that i am making a 100% recovery. i will probably even need to say no to taking care of the little boy i keep tomorrow.

jamil reminded me last night, that my body isn't used to being pregnant (it has been 3 years!) and that i am going to have to start to rest and take it easy more often. and that i will easily run myself down if i don't. he is so right, why does he have to be so right!!!! it is so hard for me to rest, i don't know how to rest and relax.

so i will be resting and saying no to a lot more things, to help keep us healthy!! i am feeling much better this evening than i was yesterday at this time. although, i started to feel a little queasy this afternoon, probably from the pregnancy - i remember feeling like this in the afternoons a lot with jordyn.

i am hoping the rest that my wonderful husband has allowed me to do has really helped me to recover. and i am trying not to let the messy house, laundry, and the not been done list stress me out! i am also saying a prayer that no one else in our family gets sick!

our big valentine's surprise...

jesiah is proud to announce he is going to be a big brother!!
yup, that is right.... the massey family is adding another "j" to it's crew!!!

what a wonderful valentine's day surprise for our family! i found out last week that we are pregnant! baby #4 will be making her (his) arrival around the 19th of October 2008!!

we are all excited. we told the kid's on valentine's day. they each got a stuffed puppy and there was a fourth one and we made them guess who it was for. eventually with jamil's help, joshua said "mom's pregnant!!". it was really cute.

i told jamil on the day before. i gave him his valentine's present a day early! i gave him a bible and it had four scriptures marked with little red cut out hearts. all the scriptures had to do with "babies". he didn't realize that i was saying i was pregnant. he thought i was trying to encourage him and hint around that i was ready for another baby. then i gave him a book called "she's having a baby and i'm having a breakdown". (it was a book i gave to him when i was pregnant with our first). then i said "congratulations, baby #4 is on her (his) way". he finally got it! i definitely surprised him (again!!).

i am really excited to be pregnant again. i love love being pregnant. i have always been blessed with healthy and easy pregnancies. i am praying this one will be the same. i have already been feeling a little queasy in the morning and i have been exhausted. but i am trying to enjoy each and every day because this little baby will most likely be our last.

now i will be able to post regularly again, i just couldn't bring myself to post a lot last week, because i had this big secret!! i wanted to hold off on this post until we told our close friends and our family!!

tgif...

wow, it is really really hard to believe that it is friday. this week was a busy one. it was like whirlwind. God has begun to give us answers and direction to many of the things jamil and i have been praying about. one that i can not wait to share - but it deserves it's very own post! i believe that the unsettled, uncomfortable place i have been in for some time now, is going to change soon. i think God is starting to reveal His plan. it feels good to have some answers and some direction.

the win....

as a parent you eagerly await proud moments in your children's life. as parents of three young children, we have had a lot of "firsts" and a lot of milestones achieved and accomplished - which are very proud moments. but nothing in the past has compared to the proud moment we experienced on sunday. i think the difference is that this proud moment was made because of a choice that joshua made on his own. jamil and i didn't choose this for him, he did this on his own. this is a definite win in our eyes as parents. we can see all of the time we have spent teaching him about God has paid off. we can see how us being apart of a church family, where he gets loved on and discipled each and every week has paid off. elevation and e-kidz were a big part of this win for us.

on sunday, we arrived at providence high school for the baptism. there were a lot of people in the atrium. we had to wait in a line amongst a large crowd and i could begin to see joshua getting nervous. i was so worried he may change his mind and not go through with it. joshua was receiving a lot of attention from a lot of people we know and love at elevation. everyone was so excited for him. i know we were not the only nervous and excited people there. josh doesn't love to be the center of attention if he is nervous or uncomfortable - any other time bring it on - but right then he wasn't feeling it. so i could see him getting worried. after we got him registered and it began, jamil stood in line with him. jamil encouraged him and made him laugh. jamil is so good at knowing where a person is and offering whatever they need to make them feel better. God has given him that gift.

there were 5 groups of people being baptized. each group of people (about 50 in each) were getting baptized by a different pastor on staff at elevation. our lead pastor, pastor steven, was taking the afternoon off and delegating this task to his staff. joshu was in the third group. he was the second person in line. phillip mccart was baptizing his group - i was very glad - joshua knows mr. phillip and i knew it would make him comfortable knowing who was about to dunk him under the cold water!!

group three is lined up ready to go. as the first person is getting baptized, our friend, bradelyn, says to me, "look pastor is taking care of josh isn't that so sweet". i looked and saw joshua still a little scared with pastor steven by his side and his arm around him, he was talking to him and encouraging him. and then i saw pastor begin to take off his jacket and shoes and before i know it he is getting into the pool with josh!! he told everyone he was going to jump in and baptize joshua himself. wow! how amazing!! pastor was not prepared to get into the pool - but he did it anyway.

jamil and i just broke down in tears of joy and appreciation. it meant the world to us to have pastor take our son under his care and baptize himself. after lifting josh up on his shoulder, pastor spoke about why he decided to jump in. f irst, he told everyone that joshua was jamil's son and jamil serves as one of his armor bearers. then, he told the crowd all about the night joshua decided to attend "go deep" and how joshua used a picture of him to help make his decision. next, he baptized him!!!

my words do not even do that moment justice. jamil and i were so emotional, we were crying tears of joy and tears of appreciation for what pastor steven had just done. i barely can put into words each moment or how we felt. i can't wait to relive the moment through video and photos!!

this was a priceless moment in our life. being surrounded by our church family and friends and knowing how much our family is loved. and by that amazing act of compassion shown by pastor steven, we have not one doubt in our mind that elevation is our church home. a place we are so proud to call our church home. elevation is where God has called us to be. elevation has given so much to us as a family. it has offered us a place of hope and restoration and given us achurch family again. elevation has recognized and valued the gifts that God has given us and has made sure that we are serving in our sweet spots. elevation has partnered with us to help us to raise children who know and love God. we are forever grateful to our church family, the church staff and to pastor steven.

we are so very proud of the decision josh made! we are so excited to see what God has planned for him!! we have always known that God is going to use joshua in a might way!! this moment and this decision josh made is a definite win! a win for us as parents and a win for Jesus Christ -- another one sold out Him!

so sunday was a big day!! there were 165 people baptized at elevation. one of joshua's friend's riley, got baptized too. riley is larry and kelly hubatka's daughter. they are good friend's of ours!! joshua really likes riley. first he waited to change his clothes until after her baptism. then, he broke through the crowd to tell her congrats! here is a cute picture of them together!!

the big day....

i promise you the details (and photos!) of our big day (joshua's baptism) are coming!!!
it was one of our proudest and most exciting days for us as parents - yesterday was definitely a "win" !!
i can't wait to tell you about it!!! and i am sorry to keep you waiting.... keep checking back!!

until then, you can check out our friend and family life pastor's blog (oh and phillip - thanks for all the hits coming to me from your blog!!!)