blogging block...

everytime i begin to write a new post, i feel like i need to start with some kind of disclaimer or apology for the lack of posts, or the lack of depth or quality or meaning in my posts. and then i start to get frustrated and overwhelmed and a lot of times i don't end up writing anything or finish what i wanted to write. and then i begin to wonder why do i do this blog thing? is it for me? is it for those of you who read this? what is it for? and then i wonder about the purpose of my blog, what is that? i am not sure anymore of what i want this blog to be. is it a journal, a scrapbook, a diary, or all of those or none of those?

i think i have gone through this before and i guess i am just there again. i guess sometimes my writer's block leads to questioning why i keep this blog. so, i am going to take some time to figure out why i blog and exactly what i want to blog. i am going to work on a mission statement of sorts for myself for this blog. a few weeks ago i took down one of the boxes on the side which explained who is my j crew. once i figure out the goal and the purpose to this blog, i plan to put that in there. i also would like to change up a few things on the side bar.

i also wonder sometimes who reads my blog, sometimes i wonder if anyone does. i know that the numbers on my counter go up but sometimes i don't think anyone reads it. and then i wonder why i care if anyone reads it because i am keeping this blog for me and not for you... aren't i? who knows...

i also get really frustrated at the lack of time i have to keep this blog going. i love to write but i rarely have time to do it. i know that is just the season of my life right now.

and the most frustrating thing is when i come up with a great idea for something to write - usually in the car - by the time i can get to my laptop i have forgotten what my idea was.

so with all of that said... i am off to bed. i do feel like that lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. maybe i should just keep this as a draft and not post it. oh, who knows?