on wings like eagles...

something you may or may not know about me is that i have a fear of heights.  i really don't like them.  it makes me sick to think about doing any kind of daring activity that would require being up high.  no way, never, would you catch me hang-gliding or jumping out of an airplane with a parachute for fun. also, i don't really think it is fun to climb up to the top of high places (towers, lighthouses, etc) and look down.  it would just make me sick. i am ok with flying in an airplane or riding on a roller coaster. i am not freaked out by that.  but the thought of being up high and looking around and seeing what is below or jumping from something that is high and falling to the ground is really scary to me.  in fact, i don't even like to watch a scene in a movie where the actor is doing that. yuck. makes me sick.

so i have found myself in this place in my life where i feel like i am being taken to new heights.  really high, really scary ones.  ones that are out of my comfortable place.  God has begun to use me in some different ways that i could never have thought of or imagined. ever.  so many of the things that He is placing in front of me, are really truly pretty scary for me.  they are so unfamiliar and they feel so out of my reach.  so high, too high for me.  and completely out of my comfort level.  i feel like these are things that are suppose to be for someone else and not for me.  honestly, i keep asking Him if He is sure that He has chosen the right person.  i think perhaps he is looking for someone else.  silly question. because He is God Almighty.  He doesn't make a mistake and He knows the plan He has.

every time i look around at the things in my life that are comfortable and instead of looking up at what He has planned for me, i know i am not doing what He has planned for me.  i am trying to stay where i am comfortable and do what i know how to do.  but, while in my comfort, i am being disobedient to what He is showing me and telling me.  i am trying to do what I want to do, because it is so much more comfortable.  but it is not what He has planned for me.

since i desire to follow His plan for my life, i have to put this fear of  these new heights aside.  i have to look up and rely on Him, the One who has given me these new levels to reach for.  the One who has chosen me, because He knows best. i am pushed out of my comfort zone and i trust in Him. i find my strength and my comfort in Him. 

 but those who hope in the LORD, will renew their strength.
       they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary,
       they will walk and not be faint.

isaiah 40:31

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