face to face...

as i was approaching a short line in the food court at the mall, i saw a familiar face getting in line behind me. i did a double take. it was a face i knew. a face i haven't seen in a long time. a face i could never forget.

we greeted each other casually, "hi, how are you?" and "good and you." the usual stuff for someone you bump into here and there. although that wasn't the case with this person. it had been a long time and at one time she was more than a casual acquaintance.

after our exchange, i turned around to face forward, feeling very awkward, feeling that i should have said more. but what? my mind raced. what to say, what to do. replaying the situation. replaying her expression and what it meant. trying to get myself together.

i turned back around to greet the other faces she was with. we exchanged a few kind words, catching up for a minute. one was her sister and the other was a little girl who looked about three. i knelt down to the sweet little girl with the beautiful big eyes. her mom introduced me and then i told the little girl, "i was friends with your mommy a long time ago."

i turned around feeling uncomfortable, completely awkward. the exchange was not how i ever pictured it would be. i had imagined this day in my head for a long, long time. i thought i knew how i would handle it if i had a second chance. and this was my second chance. you see, over a year ago maybe even two, i saw her in a store and i received barely a wave as she chatted on her cell phone. i felt heart broken and rejected as i stood there with a big huge smile, ready to hug and reconnect. but she kept walking and with no choice, i proceeded to do the same.

i knew i didn't want my second chance to turn out the same as the first. my mind continued to race and the line was being rushed through, i didn't know what more to say or do.

i followed my group to the next line at the food court, thinking that i was not satisfied with the way this took place and ended. i had tears in my eyes. i just wasn't proud of myself, i wasn't showing the love of Christ. and i wasn't being me.

while i was in the next line and chatting with the ladies behind the counter, i looked around to find this old friend. praise God, they were still there sitting down. i prayed quick and prayed hard, Lord tell me what you want me to do.

right then, i was reminded of what i should do. as our food was being ordered, i quickly found a pen and jotted down my phone number and email on a napkin. i couldn't leave this time without saying more or without trying to reconnect.

as my group sat down to eat, i excused myself. i walked across the food court to find her. i approached her and said, "i know it has been a long time, but i would love to get together, i would love to catch up and see what you have been up to" her reaction was pretty much the same as when we greeted each other. non-emotional, not really friendly, or even glad to see me. but i pressed on. "so, here is my phone number and my email address, i would love the opportunity to reconnect and catch up." she said she would call or email and that was basically it. i said good bye and walked away from them. this time i felt much better about how i reacted and the steps i made to reconnect.

this face was a very very good friend of mine in college, we were roommates and sorority sisters. we even moved down here to north carolina together and shared our first two apartments. she was my best friend during that season of my life. when our paths began to go different directions, she moved out of our apartment. and we had very little to no opportunities for our paths to cross. we may have run into each other once shortly after our separation. and then the second time was a year ago. i have thought of her often and wondered where she was and how life was treating her. i have fond memories and photographs of our times together.

i praise God for the opportunity to cross paths with her today. it was part of His plan. He completely orchestrated this whole entire thing. i was at the mall doing an amazing outreach project for elevation when all of this happened. a mall i have never been to before. He allowed me to be right there where she was. He allowed me to once again repair a broken friendship. and i put all hurt and hard feelings behind and put forth an extension of love, forgiveness and acceptance.

i don't have any idea of how this story will end. will she call? email? will we reconnect? sit and talk about life over starbucks until 2 am? i don't know. i would love to say i do. i would love to plan a perfect ending to this story. i actually have a plan in mind. i pray that God will allow us to be in each other's life. i pray that He will allow me to show her the love of Christ and who Christ has made me to be in the last eight years while we haven't been connected.

i also know if she never calls me or she never emails me that i did what i was suppose to do. i know God gave me this face to face opportunity for a purpose, for a reason. i know that i opened the door. it is up to her to walk through that door and meet me face to face. i pray that she will.

wow, how God has been blessing me this week!!!