looking up

for about a week or so, i have just not felt like myself. i have felt really, really out of it. i have been dealing with a lot of stressful things, most of them are things i had placed on myself -- expectations i had set way too high for myself as a mom. last week was pretty bad, it was like the peak of all the yuckiness i had been feeling. i was at a breaking point and i just was not in a very good place. and i couldn't really put my finger on exactly what was making me feel so down in the dumps. i am happy to say that today, i feel like things are starting to look up for me and my attitude.

i realized a few things during this time of turmoil and yuckiness.

~ my need to control everything and everyone was just out of control -- i mean out of control!

~ i didn't really need to spend so much energy trying to figure out why i was feeling so miserable (goes back to the control thing) i just needed time to pray through it and seek God instead.

~ i have a great support system of friends in place who have helped me through the last week -- thank you ladies -- you all know who you are!!!

~ God is still working on me and our family and we are still on that verge of something big is about to happen but don't know what it is!! that is exciting, all though for a control freak a little scary to be unknown.

~ through a season (could be an hour, a week or a day) of turmoil there is always light at the end of the tunnel. things will look better at the end of the season -- thankfully that is where i stand today -- even though my knees are still shaking a little bit from the emotion.