roller coaster...

i wouldn't describe this season of life as a journey, or even a walk, rather, i feel like i am on a roller coaster. this is how i have been describing my life as of late. this year has been a different season for me. i am in full force being a mom of four kids. sometimes i look at my kids and can not believe they are mine and that i have four of them. this year hasn't been full of any big changes. we have been kind of going along for the ride. we have had some ups and downs. my faith has definitely grown and i am learning more and more about who i am in Christ.

so this is why i don't feel like i have been just cruising along this journey. it's this feeling that i have that i haven't been able to describe other than to say, i just feel like something big is about to happen. kind of like that anticipation you feel as you are riding to the top of the hill when you are on a roller coaster, it is like you are chugging along kind of slowly, but in your head and in your stomach you just know that something big is going to happen

what is that something big? i don't know for sure.

on some roller coasters you reach the top of the hill and then quickly descend to the bottom, enjoying the ride but feeling like maybe life is passing you by. on some roller coasters you get to the top and then take a little jolt down and then you begin twisting and turning right and left side to side, not sure when and what the nest turn will bring. some roller coasters have a mix of all three, going up and then going down, and then going up again and then side to side.

for quite sometime i have felt the anticipation building as we have been making our way to the top yet we have no idea what to expect when we get there. is the ride going to be so wild that we are going to be dropped down hill so fast that we won't know what hit us. or is the ride going to be full of twist and turns and we won't know if we are going to ever get off.

there are two things that keeps me securely fastened in my seat and make me want to hold on as i am riding on this roller coaster not sure what to expect. the first is God. i know that He knows the plan He has for me. and the other is my husband, i am so fortunate to have a husband who takes the lead and holds my hand while we are riding on this roller coaster. he may not know what is coming at us next, but he stands in confidence of God's will for us and his faith keeps me feeling safe.

1 comment:

Terri said...

I love this! And I love that feeling of anticipation... the faith of knowing that God is at work and has a plan, and being fully yielded to going wherever He leads.

I remember, before I met my husband, back in my single days, attending the wedding of a friend. Of course I was happy for the couple who was getting married... but I also had this overwhelming joy and assurance that I, who had not dated in 2-3 years, was also going to be getting married soon. I really wanted to tell everyone my fabulous news... but knew I would sound crazy!!! Six months later I met Gil and 3 months after that we got married!

Right now, my sweet hubby is frustrated and feeling stuck (financially, in his career, etc.). But I just know the Lord is working things out and has a plan bigger than we can imagine! So I am waiting and watching with you and can't wait to see what the Lord is gonna do!! Blessings!