4.22.2009

somewhere across town...

last night was really rough for me, i hit a breaking point. jaelyn hasn't been sleeping very well and we have been letting her cry it out for five nights. and it just doesn't seem to work with her, she is just crying longer and harder. i don't remember it being this hard with the other three. the breaking point for me is that i am just tired, i don't do well without a lot of sleep. i just don't. and i don't do well without a lot of time for myself. a lot of time, who am i kidding, i don't need " a lot" just some time. and after bedtime for all the kids, is my time to breathe, to catch up with my hubby, to read, or blog or whatever. with my sweet little girl not staying asleep, "my time" is being interrupted. and i kind of lost it last night. i was really frustrated. i just hit a breaking point, i was so upset that i wasn't getting "my time".

oh. how. selfish. of. me.

because somewhere across town, this family, is crying out to the lord to help them because their sweet baby girl is not recovering well from her last surgery. one of many surgeries she has had and come through beyond what the doctor's thought. now, the doctor's are saying sweet baby kayleigh may be brain dead and may never wake up.

seriously, i am whining and complaining because i didn't get "my time". i am whining because i am tired. these parents are fighting for the life of their child. gosh, how tired must they be. they are praying for a miracle to be done in their baby girl once again. and i am sure they have no time for themselves. at. all.

wow, how this puts things in perspective for me.

i am not going to go there {to my breaking point} again. i am going to resist it. it isn't of God anyway. i am going to be grateful for "my time" that is interrupted by my sweet healthy baby girl. i am going to hold her and love on her and praise the Lord for this precious gift He has given to me. "my time" can wait until the day when she is all grown up and sleeping through the night somewhere else across town.

for several years, God has put this undeniable passion in my heart for babies. i know He wants me to use it for His purpose. so stories like kayleigh's really touch me and go way beyond a place in my heart that i didn't know was there. so today i am praying for sweet baby kayleigh and her family.

will you join with me in praying today for kayleigh?

1 comment:

Robin said...

I soooo hear ya on this post. amen sister! :) been there and oh how quickly we can take our blessings for granted. thanks for this reminder. :)