yesterday, i started feeling sick again ~ flu like symptoms ~ not pregnancy ones (yet). about mid-morning yesterday, i felt like i was hit by a truck. i was coughing, weak, tired, had chills, aches and a fever. so i planted myself on the couch, gave the little kiddos a very simple lunch, which i barely had to prepare - i opened some yogurt and a granola bar for them. i put a movie on for them and they were so good. they watched movies and ate popcorn. i was a mess. i had a list of stuff i had planned to do yesterday and ALL of it i had to put on hold. and i did nothing but rest.
jamil came to my rescue, he picked josh up from school for me and then he took care of the kids and the house for the majority of the evening. he cooked dinner for them and cleaned up the kitchen. he had to leave for josh's basketball practice, since he is the coach - i thought i could make it through without him for an hour and a half. as he was leaving, it was probably the worse i had felt all day. after he left, i called my mom in tears. i was feeling so bad and something about calling your mom just makes it better. she offered to help me out, thankfully she lives close enough to do so now. but i just needed to cry about how bad i felt.
it is soooo hard to be sick when you are a mom and a wife. there are so many things that we do during a day and when we are down and out, it seems like the house is going to fall apart. i kept thinking about all the things i should be doing while i was resting. i worried if jamil would remember to pack josh's lunch and if he did would it be healthy? then i worried about the homework he needed to finish, and the pile of laundry waiting to be folded, and the dishwasher that needed to be emptied and reloaded. my mind worried the entire time i rested. my house seemed to be in chaos and i couldn't do anything to fix it. i knew if i pushed it, it would not be good for me or for the little teeny baby in my belly. so i tried to forget about all that had to be done and tried to rest and relax and sleep on and off.
getting sick is like a temptation for a control freak like me. i do not like to give up control of the things i do. i like help, but i don't like to feel helpless. and for a type a personality, resting is not ever on my agenda. so getting sick and having to rest is not something i know how to do very well.
last night, jamil decided to take the day off to help me out today (isn't he the best!!!) i was actually feeling somewhat better this morning and told him he could go onto work, but he said he would stay in case i started feeling worse. and f he stayed home today, i could completely rest and be better on thursday - and he could be back at work tomorrow. then, we decided to skip on our small group tonight and will probably cancel our high school group tomorrow night to ensure that i am making a 100% recovery. i will probably even need to say no to taking care of the little boy i keep tomorrow.
jamil reminded me last night, that my body isn't used to being pregnant (it has been 3 years!) and that i am going to have to start to rest and take it easy more often. and that i will easily run myself down if i don't. he is so right, why does he have to be so right!!!! it is so hard for me to rest, i don't know how to rest and relax.
so i will be resting and saying no to a lot more things, to help keep us healthy!! i am feeling much better this evening than i was yesterday at this time. although, i started to feel a little queasy this afternoon, probably from the pregnancy - i remember feeling like this in the afternoons a lot with jordyn.
i am hoping the rest that my wonderful husband has allowed me to do has really helped me to recover. and i am trying not to let the messy house, laundry, and the not been done list stress me out! i am also saying a prayer that no one else in our family gets sick!